


Choose Me Instead

by Jossasund



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Depression, F/F, Fucked Up, Marriage, Rape, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: This fic is inspired by the video “Choose me instead” by Keepaming on YouTube. :)"Regina is depressed after Emma and Hooks wedding and at the same time, Emma is questioning herself if she really did the right thing by marrying Killian."





	1. You're to good for Hook

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start reading this, I want to say that this is NOT a fic for CaptainSwan-shippers, and I'm telling you this because I simply don't want a ship war to start in the comment section.
> 
> Anyway, hope you'll enjoy this story! 
> 
> ****Warning for mentions of abuse, rape, self harm and suicide thoughts.****

A month had passed since Emma had married Hook. Regina had of course attended the wedding, but it had been so incredibly hard for her to do so.

It had probably been the worst thing she had ever endured, to see Emma, a woman she loved so deeply, getting married to such a slob as Hook.

Some part of Regina had even hoped, until Archie had actually pronounced them as husband and wife, that Emma would leave Hook by the altar and take Regina's hand instead.

Sadly that had been nothing but a stupid dream. Because it hadn't happened.

 

And it _never_ would, which broke her heart. 

 

Regina would  **never** be able to kiss Emma, or to tell her exactly how much she loved her. 

Instead she had to watch as the newlyweds shared a kiss that made Regina do nothing but cringe.

 

_ You're too good for Hook.  _

 

_ **** _

Henry had noticed his adoptive mother's sadness after the wedding and knew it must have something to do with his birth mother Emma, but the teenage boy didn't know what to say or even ask.

He wasn't sure but he was suspecting his adoptive mother had feelings for his birth mother, feelings she of course never would admit. 

 

So what could he do about it? He couldn't just watch as Regina broke down like this.

Henry felt so damn helpless. And It broke his heart, because he wanted both of his mother’s to be happy. 

 

So one day he decided go over to Zelena, and see if she could give him some advice on what to do. 

 

******

Regina hadn't heard when Henry left the house, and unfortunately she didn't have the energy to care anymore. Her Emma was gone.  _ Her Swan _ . And she was sure it wouldn't be long before Henry left as well. 

 

Simply because Regina always seemed to lose the ones she loved. 

 

She was devastated, and just sat in her study by the fireplace with a glass of apple cider by her side as she looked through some pictures of Emma that she had on her phone.

 

Regina smiled at them all as she remembered those happy, simpler times.

And she especially loved the pictures where Henry, Regina and Emma did goofy faces. It brought tears to her eyes.

 

She missed their time together as a family. And mumbled curse words under her breath as she thought about that stupid pirate who destroyed everything she could have ever dreamed of having… 

 

*****

_ “Hey kid!” Emma laughed and ruffled Henry's hair. He groaned because he always told her he was too big for affection like that, but he would never say that to Emma. _

_ Regina just shook her head at them. They were so alike. They shared the same beautiful eyes, had the same laugh, and they were both such gentle souls. It warmed her heart. _

_ “Hi Regina,” Emma said and smiled when she saw Regina.They locked eyes for a moment, and suddenly, it was just them, alone in the whole universe.  _

 

_ It was a wonderful moment, a moment none of them wanted to end. But Henry always said something about them being so annoying, and brought them back to the present. _

_ Emma always shrugged at it and gave Regina a wink before they looked back at Henry. _

_ Regina had always wanted to end a moment like that with a kiss. But it never happened. And now it would never happen either...  _

 

That thought alone brought tears to Regina's eyes as she let her fingers brush against her lips gently. 

 

_ Emma I need you.  _

 

_ And I miss you…  _

 

**** 

The former queen took a sip of her cider and let her mind wander free for once. And it wandered to Emma, as it always did.

She thought about when Emma had arrived in Storybrooke all those years ago. Regina had hated absolutely  _ everything _ about her, without even knowing exactly why. 

 

Regina thought about all the fights they had been through in the beginning, fights that had been both physical and emotional.

 

But Regina smirked as she thought of how Emma had challenged her in a way none other had ever dared to. And it hadn't been just once, she had done it numerous times.

Emma hadn't cared that Regina was The Queen, and it was a breath of fresh air to Regina in some strange way. 

 

*******

Emma had just seen Regina as a  **person** , something nobody else did or had done for years. And the blonde hadn't even backed down when the Queen had gotten her magic back. 

 

No. Emma was the saviour and she wasn't afraid of anything it seemed.

Even if Regina knew there was one thing, and one thing only that actually scared Emma.

And that was to be  **alone** . 

 

*****

 

On the outside, Emma Swan was a badass. But deep inside, she was still suspicious, afraid and broken.

She had grown up as a foster kid, an forgotten orphan and that had left the blonde scarred for life.

And Regina saw that, because she recognized that look in Emma's eyes and sort of knew how that felt.

What surprised the Queen, was that nobody else seemed to noticed it. Not even Emma's own parents… 

 

And that left Regina puzzled and confused. 

 

******

The only thing Emma's parents did, was to push Emma to find someone, and of course they had talked nonstop about the importance of having a true love of her own.

So when that stupid pirate Hook had showed up, the Charmings had almost forced them to get together, even if the relationship was just… wrong.

 

Hook had been a terrible person, but he was changed now, Snow always stated proudly.

His sins had been forgotten in a matter of seconds. 

 

*******

That made Regina absolutely furious and seething, that he had been forgiven so easily. 

 

The Queen, on the other hand, still had to prove herself, even if it had been years since she had parted from her darkness.

Which meant that nobody listened to Regina when she tried to tell them that Hook was nothing but a psychopath. 

 

It drove Regina mad, because she was certain that he hurt Emma in some way. 

 

But it didn't matter how many times Regina repeated herself, nobody chose to listen. They just simply ignored her…

And the only reason for that, was because she was still a villain in their eyes and **nobody** listened to a villain. 

 

_Especially not the heroes_. 

 

The only one except for Regina who had noticed all the small warning signs, was Henry, because he was a smart boy.

Sadly he didn't speak up. And his adoptive mother didn't blame him. 

 

Henry liked Hook, or at least tolerated him for Emma's sake, but also because he desperately wanted a father figure in his life since his father Neal had died so suddenly.

 

****

Regina remembered when the curse had been broken and how the blonde had actually stood by Regina's side, much to the Queen’s surprise.

The saviour had even protected her when the townspeople had regained their memories and stormed Regina's mansion with torches and spikes, ready and even partially content with the idea of violence.

Snow had just huffed at the whole thing, because she wanted Regina to pay for her sins and seeing her daughter protect her…

 

_It was wrong_. 

 

A hero  **shouldn't** defend a villain, but the saviour did. And that wasn't something you read about in the storybooks very often.

But Emma didn't care. She was who she was, not some stupid marionette puppet and Regina guessed that was the biggest reason she had fallen for her.

 

Because Emma was so incredibly unique. 

 

****

Regina had repressed her feeling towards Emma for years. 

 

But they had always been close friends and since they had shared custody of Henry, they had been a family, at least in some way.

The day Hook had entered Emma's life though, it had almost been destroyed, everything Emma and Regina had built up for so long. 

 

Hook and Regina didn't like each other, so the blonde was less and less in Regina’s company as the time passed. And Henry felt torn because he wanted both his mother's to be happy.

Regina had expressed her feelings for Emma only once. And the time she had been courageous enough to tell Emma, had been at Hook’s and Emma's rehearsal dinner before the wedding. And it had gone to hell. 

 

But what did she think would happen? 

 

_ I'm so stupid.  _

 

********

_ “Miss Swan,” Regina smiled and took yet another glass of wine as she grabbed the blonde.. _

_ Emma was so drunk she couldn't barely stand on her feet. Regina smirked as she swung her arm around Emma and dragged the blonde with her, to the back of the diner, away from all the people. _

 

_ Regina saw in the back of her eye that Snow seemed to keep a close eye on them. Regina didn't care though. _

_ “Gina, what the hell,” Emma laughed as she practically stumbled over her as they sat down in the booth. “What are you doing?” _

_ “Emma I need to tell you something…” Regina breathed out and the blonde raised an eyebrow. _

_ “I guessed as much,” Emma smiled and Regina took a deep breath. “So what's on your mind, my queen?“ _

_ “I love you,” Regina blurted out and looked down at her hands.  _

 

_ “Ehm, what?” the saviour stuttered as Regina looked up. _

_ “I. Love. You,” Regina spelled out and watched as Emma's face became pale.  _

_ “You do?”  _

_ “Yes, Miss Swan. I do. And I want you to leave Hook and be with me instead.”  _

 

_ Emma glanced back at the packed diner. It was full of people who loved her. And people she loved. _

_ A groan escaped her lips as she glanced back at Regina. _

 

_ “You know that's not possible Regina,” Emma shrugged. “I can't. .. .” _

_ Regina nodded, because she knew Emma was too afraid to do something like that so she just offered the blonde a sad smile.  _

 

_ “Gina.. I'm so sorry.” _

_ “It's no problem. I guess I should have said something sooner,” Regina shrugged and brushed away her tears, before Emma could even notice them.  _

 

_ “Promise?”  _

 

_ “Yes Miss Swan. I just wanted you to know,” Regina said as the blonde gently took the Queen’s hands in hers. _

_ “I promise you, if things had been different Regina. I would have chosen you. Because.. I love you too.”  _

 

_ With those words Emma quickly pressed her lips against Regina's and it was the best kiss Regina had ever experienced. _

 

_ Sadly it was over as soon as it begun. _

******

Regina groaned at the memory. Why hadn't she just spoken up earlier?

Why hadn't she just told Emma about how she felt?

The queen shook her head at herself and downed her cider. She didn't feel alive without Emma. 

 

**You're too good for Hook** . 


	2. A true queen

Emma watched as Hook stumbled back to the bar to order yet another glass of rum. He had been constantly drunk for days now and she wondered if he would always be like this.

And if this was her life now, constantly taking care of a grown man who behaved more like a kid...

Emma shook her head and took a small sip of her coke and questioned herself for the hundredth time, if she really had done the right thing by marrying Hook or if she had fucked up everything. 

 

******

The biggest question though, that was constantly spinning around in Emma's mind and kept her awake at night, was, did she actually love him?

Or had she just chosen to cling onto him, because it was the easy way to avoid being alone?

 

She had probably listened too much to her mother ramble on about that damn Blue fairy dust, that had told her Hook was her one true love.

Emma didn't believe in all that fairy tale crap but yet here she was, married to none other than captain freaking Hook.

A man who had gotten grumpy because Emma had refused to spend her honeymoon on his ship, the Jolly Roger. 

 

Hook had swept her off her feet in the beginning, and charmed everyone else around him as well.

Expect for Regina of course. She had just called him captain guyliner. 

 

******

 

To the outside world Hook was everybody's dream guy. He was sweet, warm hearted and all that. But Emma was slowly realizing that Hook was anything but that...

He turned out to be the master of manipulation and he slowly started to control Emma in every way possible. 

 

Emma had always been a free spirit, a independent woman and had never been afraid to speak her mind.

That particular bit of Emma's personality was something Hook was determined to repress, because he demanded nothing but total control over her. 

 

*****

Emma shook her head and dried her eyes, determined she had absolutely fucked her life up by choosing Hook.

A groan escaped her lips as she suddenly thought of Regina and the night her rehearsal dinner had taken place. 

 

The blonde remembered when Regina had confessed her love for the blonde and how Emma had panicked and turned her down.

Her heart ached as she thought of it because no matter what that stupid fairytale bullshit told her, the saviour knew the Queen was the one for her.

Emma was anxious and she suddenly realised Hook had wandered away somewhere.

Usually she went and looked for him but after doing that every day for almost a month she actually looked the other way for once, just this time because she was so tired. She missed her home.

 

Her son. 

And Regina. 

 

_ Her Regina.  _

 

*****

“Henry!” Zelena smiled as she opened the door. “What a pleasant surprise. Come in.”

“Thanks,” he replied and stepped inside the old house.

 

“You want anything to drink?” she asked but the boy just shook his head. “Well, what's on your mind then?”

“Ehm. I'm worried about mom. She hasn't been herself after ma's wedding. She doesn't even cook anymore. I have to make sure she eats at all! She just sits in her study and thinks. I don't know what I should do,” he said, sounding so defeated. Zelena nodded at him and took a deep breath. 

 

She knew Regina had not been herself since the wedding and she knew all of this had to do with Emma, in some way. 

 

*****

 

“Emma!” Snow almost squealed and Emma actually had to hold her phone a long way from her ear if she didn't want to be deaf. 

 

“Hi mom,” Emma said tiredly.

“Hold on, I'll put the speaker on so Charming can hear you too. Just. Wait,” Snow said and Emma just sighed. She knew how slow her mother could be when it came to technology.

 

“Can you hear us?” Snow asked. 

“Yes mom,” Emma chuckled. “I miss you guys. How is everything at home?”

“We miss you too darling. Everything is just fine here,” David replied. 

 

“Oh, and Regina? How's… I mean.. “  _ Fuck.  _ Emma could almost see her mother raise her eyebrow to the question and the blonde suddenly panicked.

Thank god that her father wasn't as judgemental as her mother!

 

“Regina is fine. I guess. We haven't actually haven't seen her around that much,” he said. “And Henry is good if you wanted to know!” her mother snapped. Emma just rolled her eyes as she saw Hook stumble over the beach.

“Sorry guys, but I gotta go ehm...Hook and I are getting some food,” Emma said and ended the call before they had a chance to even say goodbye. 

 

****

Emma sighed after she finally had gotten Hook to bed. It was still early in the afternoon but he was too drunk to function, so he needed some sleep and Emma, well, she needed to be alone. She closed the door to the wedding suite behind her and headed out.

She decided to sit down by the water and was glad she found some shade, away from all the people. 

 

She tapped on her phone and wondered if she should call Regina. She had wanted to do that every day since she came here but she hadn't had the guts and she knew Hook would be furious if he caught them talking but now she had her chance. 

 

So the blonde took a deep breath and dialed the Queen's number. 

 

****

Regina blinked her eyes open and groaned. She was not in the mood for talking to anyone but something told her to at least check the phone and when she saw who was calling she smiled. 

 

“Miss Swan,” Regina said as she answered. “How is the bride?” 

“Ugh don't ask,” Emma groaned and Regina sat up in her bed, raising an eyebrow at the reply. “How are you?” 

 

“I'm good dear. But the town is missing it's sheriff,” Regina said and felt her heart ache.  _ And I miss you too  _ she thought to herself but she didn't dare to say it out loud.

“Yeah? Any monsters I've missed while I've been away?” Emma asked smirking. 

“No dear, but I'm sure they are waiting for you to come home before they show up,” Regina chuckled into the phone. 

 

Emma felt a smile spread on her lips. It was so good to finally hear Regina's voice again and she knew her feelings she had for the Queen were wrong. 

 

Or…..were they truly?

 

Of course they were. Emma was a married woman and she shouldn't have feelings for anyone else but her husband. Emma rolled her eyes. And what a husband he was.  _ Or not.  _

“Yeah I guess,” Emma replied. “And how's Henry? Is he doing good? I mean, he's not spending too much time with my parents is he?”

 

Regina wondered what Emma meant with that last thing she said but she chose not to ask.

“Oh no dear. He's living with me at the moment and when he's not here, he's with my sister. So don't worry. Snow isn't brainwashing him.” 

“Thank god,” Emma said and the reply made both women burst out into laughter. 

 

****

They talked for what felt like hours but Emma knew she had to hang up before Hook became suspicious.

And the bruise she had under her sleeve from the other day still hurt like hell. She shook her head and told Regina to tell Henry she said hi and she ended the call.

Emma put her phone in her pants and looked up to the blue sky. How had she ended up like this? How could she have allowed herself to end up with a guy like Hook? 

 

He was just like all the other assholes she had met over the years, but back then she had ended it long before the second date. And now she had married him. How?.

Emma dragged her fingers through her long, blonde hair as she reached down for a cigarette. She didn't know why she had started smoking but it helped her relax. And she could see how the Queen would have been furious with her if she saw her now.

 

****

Emma knew she had done a lot of dumb shit in her life, but back then, she had been alone. Nobody had told her what she should or shouldn't do. No one had been there to guide her.

And now she did, she had guidance, and people to give her advice and to listen to her when she needed someone to talk to. Sadly though, she had listened too much to the people around her and not to herself.

 

Hook had come in like a fucking prince in her mother's eyes, only instead of riding a horse, he had sailed in on a ship. And well, he had been sexy, Emma could at least admit to that. Because he was. And he had been so good with Henry. 

 

But what about her? He had forced her to change who she was because it was what he wanted. He wanted a woman he could control. And Emma was like a wild horse to him, one that needed to be broken, and tamed.

But that had happened behind closed doors and the blonde didn't even even remember the first time he had struck her. But he was good to her most of the time, right?

“What the hell have I done?” Emma sighed and threw away her cigarette. What the hell had she got herself into? Why had she married this slob and turned down someone as beautiful as Regina?

 

**A true queen** . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a review if you read this :)


	3. You should have married me instead

After simply talking with Emma, Regina felt more at ease, just knowing that the blonde still thought about her and actually… cared.

The Queen felt happy, maybe for the first time in months so when Henry came home and found her in the kitchen, he couldn't believe his eyes.

  
“Hi Mom,” he said and sat down by the kitchen counter.    
“Well hello there Henry,” Regina replied as she turned around and met his curious and beautiful eyes.

  
“You seem happy. Have you by any any chance talked with ma?” he asked carefully and Regina froze for a second. 

 

******

Of course he had noticed the sudden change in her behavior after the wedding, and of course he had understood it all had to do with Emma.

He was so smart and thoughtful, simply because Henry saw what nobody else did. He reminded Regina of Emma so much that it made her heart ache. 

  
“Yes and yes, my dear,” she said with a crooked smiled before she returned her focus to her apple cake.

  
“Ehm Mom, can I ask you something? Something ehm, quite personal? ”

  
“Of course, dear,” she replied, even if she knew what the question was about, or more likely, about  **whom.**

  
“Oh okay. But only if you promise me you won't get angry” Regina let out a small sigh, before she met his eyes with a careful smile.

  
“I Promise.”

  
“Are you sad about Ma marrying Hook?”

******

  
Even if the question was expected, the Queen nearly dropped the ingredients she held in her hands. Regina cleared her throat and sighed once again.

Had it been so obvious? Of course it had.

Regina was about to panic when she suddenly felt Henry drag her into a tight hug. The move itself surprised her, but she quickly relaxed in her son's arms.

He was so kind to her and she was so happy he didn't see her as evil anymore. She was just his Mom. 

 

A person he loved.

  
***

  
“I.. I..” Regina stuttered, not able to get the words out. And that made her so freaking frustrated, because she had never in her whole life had problems speaking her mind. But now it felt impossible.

She pulled away from her son's embrace and walked into the living room, where Henry carefully followed.

They sat down on the couch and Regina was close to crying as her son took her hands in his. The move made her let out a big sigh of relief. 

  
“It's okay Mom. You can tell me,” he said with a gentle tone.  _ You even sound like her…  _ the queen thought before she finally spoke up. 

 

*******

  
“Well… yes…,” Regina finally managed to say. “Emma should have married me instead”

  
“I knew it!“ he said with a grin and a fist pump in the air. 

 

“Knew what?” Regina said with a frown.

“I knew you had feelings for ma, and I'm proud of you for finally admitting it.”

 

The words made Regina speechless for a moment before she let out chuckle.

“You're so much Emma's son, aren't you, hmm?” she said with a crooked smile, and Henry simply shrugged. 

 

*****

He was happy Regina had finally admitted her feelings out loud, because he had noticed the chemistry between his two mother's, and knew he couldn't imagined it.

He had even hoped until the very end, that they would become a couple, and even if Emma was married to Hook now, Henry still hoped it would happen. 

  
“Well, some part of me is your son too, mom“ he suddenly said and nudged her shoulder, but her smile quickly faded, making Henry confused.

“I am sorry though…“ She said as she leaned back in the couch, avoiding Henry's sweet eyes. They were too painful to look into right now, because Regina only thought of Emma.

And it made her break into thousands of pieces. 

 

******

  
“Huh?” Henry frowned. “Hold on, why are you sorry, mom?”

  
“Because Hook is Emma's  **true** love and I'm destined to live alone,” Regina replied as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

She thought of Daniel, whom she had lost. She then thought of Robin, whom she also had lost...

Everyone Regina had ever loved, had either died or disappeared.

And now Emma had disappeared too.

Everything Regina touched, turned to dust,and she was surprised her son hadn't left as well. 

  
******

  
“Well hello there, love,” Hook said with a stern voice and crossed arms as Emma entered their suite. The blonde was to upset to acknowledge him, so she just nodded at him. 

Even if she would regret that move quickly.

He stood to his feet and gripped Emma's arm and twisted it, making the blonde whimper in pain. 

  
“Please Killian, don't,” Emma pleaded as the tears stung in her eyes.

“Look at me!“ he snapped, and she reluctantly met his dark, angry eyes.

“You have talked with that bitch now, haven't you?” Hook growled through gritted teeth as his grip around his wife's arm tightened.

_ How the hell could I allow myself to become someone's personal punching bag like this..?  _ Emma wondered to herself, fighting every urge in her body not to cry.

She refused to give Killian that satisfaction.

****

“Answer me!“

  
“Killian, please, I promise, I haven't talked with Regina...”

“You know you're a terrible liar, you bitch!“ He sneered and kicked Emma in her stomach, making her fall down and lose her breath.

She covered herself with her hands, afraid of more punches and kicks. But before she could react tough, he grabbed her hair and lifted her up. 

  
“I know you have, love, because I'm not stupid like you! And do you want to know why I know you have actually talked with that bitch, hm? Because you always get so fucking nonchalant afterwards.” Hook growled and let go of his grip.

Emma quickly stood to her feet and dried her lip, that had began bleeding by now.

******

Hook took a step closer to Emma and pressed her up against the wall, his nostrils flaring.

“So give me your phone, love.”

  
“Absolutely not!” Emma replied and pushed him backwards. “You can't take everything from me!”

_ How the hell could I chose you instead of Regina?  _ Emma thought to herself. 

  
“Oh sure I can love, and that is something you can count on if you keep lying to me. So  give me your phone!”  Hook said and sat down, pouring himself a shot of rum.

Emma bit her lip and felt the coppery taste of blood as she blinked away her tears. She handed him the phone and wondered if she would ever get it back..

“Now get the hell out of my sight and go clean yourself up,” he sneered and Emma quickly took the opportunity to flee into the bathroom and lock the door behind her, before he changed his mind.

*****

Emma undressed herself and met her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her whole lower body was full of bruises and she knew the red mark around her arm would look awful tomorrow too...

As she turned on the shower, she finally let herself to break down.    
  


As she cried, Emma suddenly thought of her upbringing and how alone she always had been.

With that thought in mind, she had promised herself that if she could find her family someday, she would never have to be alone again.

And yet she had never felt more alone than she did now…

Because for Emma, life never turned out as she'd thought. And especially not now, when she lived in a town full of fairytale characters. 

  
“Fuck!” Emma groaned to herself as the thought of Regina entered her mind again.

How could she have turned her down?

“I have made the worst mistake of my whole life, haven't I? “ Emma mumbled to herself as she sunk down in the bathtub.

******

Regina was the first person Emma thought of when she woke up and she was also the last one Emma thought of before she fell asleep.

And now she had lost her queen…

Forever. 

 

Killian shouldn't have been anything but a stupid fling. But sadly her mother had forced them together and when the blue fairy had told them Killian was Emma's one true love, her mother had started to plan for a wedding at once.

Emma had been too terrified to speak her mind, because she was terrified that if she did, that she'd lose her family.

And to end up being alone again… that was her biggest fear.

So Emma had just gone along with it…

The blonde shivered and turned up the heat of the water, hoping it would wash away all her anxiety, but it didn't.

It never did.

  
*****   
  


Henry and Regina decided to spoil themselves with a movie night after their conversation earlier. They both needed a distraction.

Sometime throughout the night though, Snow had come by, trying to take Henry with her, but he had just shook his head, and told her that his  **mother** needed him more than her.

Regina had grinned to herself when she heard Henry say those words, and even more so when she saw Snow's face.

And the queen couldn't help herself as she waved with her hand and used her magic to close the door, straight in Snow's stupid face.

******

“Now when that that is taken care of Henry, what do you want to watch?“ Regina asked as she used her magic to fix the snacks.

There were some perks to having magic, especially when she didn't want to leave the house.

Henry grinned at her as she filled the table quickly with crisps, dip, candy, some Cokes and for herself, a bottle of wine and cheese with crackers. She ruffled Henry's hair as they sat down on the couch.

Without even noticing it herself though, the Queen looked over at the place in the couch where Emma normally sat.

Henry noticed the sudden sadness in his adoptive mother's eyes and laid his hand on her shoulder. Regina flinched and gave her son a sad and crooked smile.

  
“I miss her too Mom,” he replied. “I miss her too,”

 

******

_ “So, movie night is all set,” Emma grinned to herself as she, Regina and Henry entered the living room. _

_ It had been Emma's turn to choose the movie and the snacks, so Regina wasn't surprised when the table was filled with cokes and pizzas. _

_ “Wow ma, this is awesome!“ Henry smiled as jumped up in one of the armchairs, letting his mothers have the couch to themselves. _

_ “Really Miss Swan?“ Regina chuckled as she looked over the movies Emma had rented. _

_ “What? It's my turn to choose and I want to see those!“ the blonde said with a shrug. _

_ “I don't know if I want Henry to see films with monsters and demons though…“ Regina said with a sceptical tone in her voice as she saw how Emma and Henry shared a quick look, before they both looked back at the queen. _

_ “Mom, you have fought worse monsters, you know that right?“ Henry chuckled and Regina just rolled her eyes. _

_ “So my majesty,” Emma said with a bow and a smirk, “don't look so upset. I bought you a salad and some wine,” Emma said with a smile, a smile so beautiful that Regina almost forgot how to breathe. _

_ But as Emma's fingers brushed against hers when she handed her a wine glass, Regina snapped back to reality and smiled back. _

_ “Thank you dear” _

_ ****** _

_ Henry was lost in the movie, because sadly he loved horror movies as much as his birth mother. Regina didn't though, so she just sat and hid her face behind a pillow. _

_ But suddenly she felt Emma's strong and muscular arms wrap around her and pull her close. _

_ Regina met those beautiful eyes of Emma’s and once again, almost forgot how to breathe. _

 

_ “I'll protect you better then a little pillow you know,” Emma whispered and just pulled Regina closer. _

_ The queen loved moments like this, even if she never said it out loud. But she did. She loved when she could feel Emma's breath on her skin, and hear her heart beat. _

_ “Better, my queen?“ _

_ “I suppose so, miss sheriff,” Regina replied, feeling how much she just wanted to lean in and kiss those plump lips, like she'd wanted to do so, so many times before. _

_ But she never dared to. And every time she didn't, she scolded herself for not doing it. _

  
****   
  


When Emma finally got the strength to pull herself together and get out of the shower, she was relieved to see that Hook wasn't there.

It made Emma play with the thought of calling Regina again, but she quickly decided not to.

She was simply too afraid, and her arm was still hurting from his anger earlier. And besides that, she didn't have a clue where her phone was anyway…

Instead Emma just shook her head and grabbed a beer, which she downed in a few chugs. She didn't even care were Killian was. 

It simply didn't matter, she was just happy he was gone. And some part of her even wished he would never return…

He had at left a note on the bed, saying he needed to be alone. It made her angry and she threw it in the trash can, almost wishing she could throw him away in a fucking trash can as well.

*******

Emma then wondered what in the hell Killian needed to be alone for?

It wasn't like he was having a crush on someone and.. .

_ What the hell? _ Emma frowned at her own thoughts.

“Fuck… who the hell am I kidding?” she said to herself. The Saviour didn't just have a simple crush on the Queen.

No. 

 

She  _ loved _ the queen. 

 

_ Her queen.  _

 

_ Her Regina.  _

 

_ ****** _

Emma knew that deep down, that she had loved Regina from the very first time she'd laid eyes on her.

Regina was by far the most beautiful woman Emma had ever laid her eyes on.

Emma had  _ never _ told anyone that though, well except for Ruby, that the she was interested in both sexes. 

 

And Regina, she was…. 

 

Breathtaking.

,,,,,, *,,,

Regina maybe had been a bitch, especially when Emma had first arrived in Storybrooke but she knew there was something… magical with her.

And that was why Emma never backed down. Regina and she were so alike, in more ways than anybody knew.

Well, except for them.

So, after many fights, both with each other but also with both monsters and dragons, the Queen and The savior, had become inseparable.

After everything they been through, they always had each other's backs and they enjoyed each other's company.

And their blooming friendship had most certainly become something more but…

It never did.

*******

Even if there had been moments between the two of them, moments Emma would never forget. So so many moments.

_ Why didn't I embrace those moments? Why did I just let them slip through my fingers? _

She remembered those shy looks, hands that had accidentally brushed against each other…

And those movie nights where they had snuggled because Regina had been afraid of all those horror movies, movies Emma of course had chosen on purpose..

Or those times where they had fallen asleep in each other's arms…

Moments like that, would be something that would make Emma smile every time she thought of them but they would also haunt Emma forever.

It made her question herself every time, as to why she hadn't made a move. 

******

She sighed and dragged her fingers through her blonde hair as the memories came back to her, all at once.

She thought of when Robin had showed up out of nowhere, and how Regina had finally seemed happy..

It had Emma had back off. And somewhere along that time, Killian had showed up as well.

But when Regina was left by Robin for some other stupid woman, Emma wished she could have rushed to her side that night she had gotten the text, and kissed her.

But instead she had laid in bed with Killian. A man she was supposed to marry in just a couple of weeks.

That night Emma didn't get any sleep at all.

******

Regina fell asleep on the couch that night, as she always did when she'd watched movies.

This time though, she didn't wake up in Emma's safe arms.

This time she woke up alone and she realized she would probably never wake up in those strong arms.

Ever again. 

 

“You should have married me instead, instead of him… ” Regina mumbled to herself as she looked through all the pictures she had in her phone of Emma, as she finally let the tears roll down her cheeks. 

 

**Emma, you should have married me instead.**

  
  
  
  



	4. Am I not worthy of a happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the story is heartbreaking like hell but I promise you it will get better and there is a happy ending. Just hang in there! :)

Emma had started to count down the days until they were going home. She was sick and tired of this honeymoon…. or whatever the hell she was supposed to call it..

Either way, she didn't care.

She just wanted home, and to be home.

The only thing Emma was anxious about though, was how her life would actually be when they finally came home again…

 

She and Killian had already fought about it numerous times, because he wanted to move away from Storybrooke.

But when it came to that particular subject, Emma had, for once, put her foot down, and refused to back down even if he had hurt her.

And she would never back down about that, because she refused to move away from her son and her family that she had looked for her whole life.

*****

He had soon grown tired of arguing about it, and so had let Emma have her way. At least for now.

But Emma knew, deep down, that he would probably bring this up again.

Another thing Hook wanted to take away from Emma, was her work.

He thought she should be a stay at home mom instead, since he still was wrapped up in his fairytale world, where the women cooked and had kids while the men provided.

Emma had almost lost her breath. Not only that he wanted her to stop working but also that he wanted them to have kids..

Kids???! She had a kid already! And she didn't want any more..

Besides that, she wasn't the woman you even wanted near a kitchen.

Regina could easily testify to that, because Emma had almost burnt down her house a couple of times when she had just tried making breakfast…

****

After growing tired of her sister’s incessant nagging, Regina finally agreed to leave the mansion, for the first time in…. Well, for what felt like forever.

Zelena had almost squealed of happiness when Regina had agreed to accompany her and her baby Robin on a little walk.

The two sisters had a close relationship nowadays and after Emma, Zelena was the one she trusted the most.

It was a beautiful day outside and Regina enjoyed the sunshine warm on her skin. It made Zelena happy to see as well.

******

They made small talk about everything, or well, almost everything. Because there was one subject subject Regina avoided, and that was Emma.

She thought she was handling it well, but her sister was on to her, even if she chose to play along. At least for now.

Zelena knew it was Emma Regina didn't want to talk about. Mostly because of all the conversations Henry and she had shared over time.

So Zelena knew Regina's secret, but she didn't want to push her sister too hard. However, her patience was wearing thin.

*****

Regina suddenly stopped as she saw Emma's old, yellow bug. She let her fingers brush against the hood and it was almost like the queen waited for Emma to jump out of it, and yell at her to not touch her precious and beloved bug.

Zelena couldn't help but roll her eyes at her sister. This was just stupid.

“This damn death trap of car... I can't believe it still works, after all those rides we've taken in it,” Regina said, more to herself than to her sister but Zelena heard every word.

So when Regina finally turned around again and met Zelena’s eyes, her sister stood with her arms crossed.

“What?“ Regina frowned.

“Regina, I'm not stupid you know,” she sighed.

“What do you mean, dear?” Regina asked, puzzled and confused.

“Come on, just admit it! I know you have feelings for Emma Swan!” Zelena finally snapped.

*****

Regina froze, but before she even had the chance to reply, she heard the door to the police station open with a bang.

Her heart started to beat like crazy as she saw Snow. Her nostrils were flaring and her eyes were dark as she looked at Regina.  _ Oh no. She must have heard Zelena... _

“Do you?!” Snow snapped as she walked up to Regina with angry, hard steps.

“Do I what, Snow?” Regina sneered and gritted her teeth. She shot her sister a quick glare, and Zelena took a step backwards. She knew this was gonna be ugly.

Snow and Regina still hated each other.

******

“Is that… thing Zelena just said,” Snow began with nothing but disgust in her voice, “True?! Huh?! Do you have feelings for my daughter! KILLIANS WIFE?”

“Snow, you don't have to scream at me,” Regina said calmly, but it only made Snow grow more aggravated.

“Damn it Regina, answer me!“

The queen simply rolled her eyes. She wasn't a bit afraid of Snow, not a bit.

And it didn't make things better that Regina knew she could easily kill Snow with a simple wave of her hand, but she refused to become  **that** person again. That person everybody except for Emma, Henry and Zelena, already saw her as.

But the biggest reason she didn't hurt Snow, was because of Emma. Emma was actually the  **only** reason Regina even said hello to the former fairytale princess, that still made her blood boil.

*******

“Answer mel!!!“ Snow practically screamed as she stepped as close Regina she could. The queen finally grew tired of Snows idiotic behavior and pushed her backwards.

“Yes I have feelings for Miss Swan!” Regina finally snapped. “are you happy now!? “

The answer made Snow's eyes became even darker than before, and it only made the queen smirk to herself.

She loved how the roles were reversed right now. Regina wasn't the villain anymore. Now she behaved like a grown woman. Instead it was the so called hero who was the evil one.

“Don't you dare to destroy Emma's and Hook’s life, like you did with everybody else’s in this town, you evil queen!” Snow growled.

And that was it for Regina. She was sick and tired of being treated like this. This was the final straw.

“Don't do anything stupid Gina,” Zelena screamed as she clenched her fists. She wanted nothing more than to help her sister, but she knew she shouldn't. This was Regina's battle. Not hers.

 

*****

“Oh you stupid, idiotic peasant!“ Regina sneered as she took a step closer to Snow, as she straightened her back, looking like the queen she once had been. It made Snow back down.

“Just Tell me this snow-white, would you rather have your only daughter be married to an abusive psychopath like Killian, hm?!”

“Stop with that stupid crap Regina. Hook is a good man. And he treats Emma like the princess she is!” Snow trailed off and the queen clenched her fists, fighting every urge in her body not to use her magic right now.

And it was damn hard…

“Just listen to yourself Snow. Don't you hear how stupid you actually sound hm? Emma shouldn't be treated like a princess, because that isn't who Emma is!

She's a warrior, a sheriff and the savior! Not some stupid princess who needs help and protection like her idiotic mother!“

“Oh I knew I was a fool when I thought you'd changed Regina…. Because you clearly haven't! You're still evil, and you will always be evil!”

“But when Emma comes home, I'm gonna make sure you're not even gonna be able to look in her direction! Mark my words. And stop bad mouthing Hook. He is good for her, unlike you are!” 

 

*****

“Hey! What's going on out here?” David suddenly called out as he walked out from the station and walked up to his wife. He was the active sheriff now that Emma was gone.

Regina quickly took a step backwards, while Snow still was angry as hell.

David gave Regina confused look, before he met his wife's eyes. 

“Hey, Snow, what's wrong?”

Regina felt a bit sorry for David. He had adapted so much better to this world than his stuck-up wife.

And he had never treated Regina badly. David had in some way, forgotten the life and what had happened in the enchanted forest, while Snow hadn't and probably never would. 

Sadly David let his wife make most of their decisions in their lives.

_ And here we go.  _ Regina thought to herself as snow opened her stupid mouth again.

 

*******

“This… The EVIL queen here, says she has feelings for our daughter! Our  _ married  _ daughter!” Snow snapped and David met Regina’s eyes again, and he still looked confused.

It was then the Queen realized that Emma had the same kind and honest eyes as her father.

“You do?” he asked as he took a step closer to Regina, completely ignoring his furious wife for a second. Regina was close to crying but nodded at him.

“David I.. I'm sorry…“ she mumbled as she scolded herself for leaving her home at all. She should have just stayed there. Forever.

It was clearly that nobody wanted her out here. And then the feeling washed over her once again, that people still actually saw her as nobody but  **The Evil queen.**

Nobody had a need for her. Henry was a teenager now and could take care of himself. She was nothing but a burden.

The Queen was not even a queen anymore, she was just a broken person, without a purpose. And without a reason to live.

Especially not when her Emma was gone…

A wave of sadness and a migraine hit her like a punch to her face and she didn't have the energy in her to argue anymore.

So she simply waved with her hand and disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke.

“Fuck you Snow freaking White!“ Zelena snapped before she left them and headed home. 

 

*******

Regina was crying now. She was so sick and tired of everything.

She had been told what to do, what not to do, and what to feel and not to feel her whole life.

It meant she had never gotten the chance to actually be happy and enjoy life.

She had been merely a child when her mother had married her to Snow's father.

Already as a child Regina had been controlled and afraid. And at some point she had finally let the darkness consume her heart.

If people knew her back story, they wouldn't blame her. But nobody wanted to even give her the chance. She was nothing but a villain. 

And it wasn't like she actually asked for much really. She just wanted  **love** . And someone to  **love** . Happiness. That was the only thing she had ever asked for.

It had never worked out for her though. Every chance for pure happiness had just run through her hands like sand. And she was just so tired of it. 

  
**Am I not worthy of a happy ending?**


	5. This is my fault

When Henry came home after being with some friends he found that the mansion was awfully quiet. That worried him. And he couldn't shake off the bad feeling he had in his stomach.. So when he didn't find Regina in her study, he started to panick.

“Mom? Mom are you home?” he shouted but didn't get an answer. He started to run through the house and suddenly noticed the lights were on in the bathroom.

“Mom? “ he asked and lightly tapped on the door but there was no answer. So he took a deep breath but as he opened the door he almost lost his balance.

 

******

“MOM!” he screamed and ran up to Regina. She was lying in the bathtub with her wrists slit and there was blood everywhere.

But he didn't break down, he had to save his mother, as he grabbed her and pulled her up from the bathtub.

How he got the strength to actually to do that and actually put her down on the floor, he didn't know. He guessed it was because his body was pumping with adrenaline at the moment. 

“Mom?” he stuttered, but there was still no response, so he tried to shake her awake.

“Mom, come on. Please. Mom! Don't leave me… ”

 

****

Emma and Killian were out eating, but her mind was completely else where, because she couldn't shrug of the feeling that something was terribly wrong with Regina. She felt anxious and wanted nothing more than to call her or actually even jump into the car and drive home.

But she couldn't..

She couldn't even text her because Hook would be furious if he caught her fiddling with her phone while being out. He wouldn't hurt her then and there but he would beat the daylights out of her when they got home.

Instead Emma let out a groan as she tried to eat the food in front of her, but she wasn't hungry. She was too anxious to have an appetite.

“Everything alright, love?” Hook asked and Emma quickly gave him a fake smile. 

“Yes darling,” Emma replied, even if she felt sick to her stomach. 

"Then eat your food. It was expensive,” Hook snarled as he grabbed her neck quickly, without anybody seeing it of course. When he finally let her go, she gasped for air.

“Now eat!” he almost screamed.

“Yes… “ she replied, nearly a whisper.

Emma had to do something about all this. She couldn't continue a life with this asshole. 

Because the abuse would only become worse and he would probably kill her one day.

 

*****

Regina slowly blinked her eyes open and realised she wasn't home. So where the hell was she? She couldn't remember a thing either. But soon enough the memories came back to her, as she felt how much her wrists were hurting.

She scolded herself as the memories came back to her. She had slit her wrists, hoping she could end her miserable life of being constantly alone.

So how was she still alive and how had she ended up at the hospital?

********

_ Oh my God… Henry… _

She shook her head when she realized she had probably scarred her son for life. He had to have been the one who'd found her and called 911. It made her feel so incredibly terrible and she cursed under her breath. She couldn't even take her own life without failing.

Or hurting someone else in the process.

“Miss Mills, how are you feeling?” Dr. Whale suddenly asked as he entered the room and made Regina return to the present. 

“Isn't that quite obvious?!” Regina snapped. “And where's my son?”

“He just went down to the cafeteria Miss Mills, so he will be back soon. Don't worry,” Whale said as he excused himself and left her.

 

_ Emma I need you. So much. _

_ ***** _

The disadvantage of living in such a small town as Storybrooke, was that the gossip traveled fast around here.

Zelena hadn't talked to her sister since the whole altercation outside the station, and had decided to give her sister some space before she went over there. It was probably for the best.

And since she didn't feel like cooking today, she had went to Granny's to order something. It was then she suddenly heard some of those stupid dwarfs talk about her sister, saying it was a tragedy the queen was still alive and that everybody would be happier if she had died.

Those words made Zelena literally fly up from her chair and grab Grumpy by his throat and push him up against the wall.

“Hey what are you doing!” he said and her grip around him only tightened.

*******

“Don't  **ever** talk about my sister like that again! Are we clear?” Zelena snapped before she let go of him, making him stumble down onto the floor. Grumpy quickly gave the other dwarfs a look before they all left Granny's as fast they could.

Zelena brushed off her dress before she returned to her table. She didn't have a clue about what those dwarfs had meant by saying those things, but it didn't matter. She knew they were Snow’s friends and that meant they were just…. Simple idiots.

“You okay Zee?” the waitress Ruby suddenly asked as she put down a cup of coffee in front of her.

Zelena quickly regretted her behavior, and wondered if she should give the wolf an honest answer or not.

She knew Regina had told her that back in the enchanted forest, she'd been one of Snow's best friends. But for some reason she wasn't that anymore. So Zelena hoped she could trust her as the waitress joined her at the table.

“I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry,” Zelena said, her voice laden with remorse. She was expecting Ruby to throw her out, so she was surprised when Ruby just leaned closer. 

*******

“Don't feel sorry. I almost wanted to applaud you. And just between us two, Grumpy is truly an asshole so I'm sure he probably deserved that,” Ruby said with a mischievous smile.

“And besides that, I'm so fucking sick of his stupid mouth, but I can't throw him out since he's a paying customer… And granny is kinda friends with those stupid dwarfs.. ”

“So your grandmother is still friends with Snow I presume then huh?” 

“Yeah. As far as I know,” Ruby said with a shrug.

“But you're not?” Zelena asked curiously. “If you don't mind me asking why, but how come?“

“Well, I just guess that after the curse broke and I actually got to see Snow's true color's, I practically told her to go to hell! Simply because she still thinks she's a princess and just tries to boss everyone around…”

Zelena smirked at Ruby and took a sip of her coffee as the wolf continued.

“And I have also seen Regina's true colors and she's nothing but a misunderstood woman, just like me you know? My heart goes out to her and I'm sad I wasn't her ally in the enchanted forest instead of Snow’s.”

“Yeah she would probably have done good with a wolf as a pet,” Zelena smiled when granny suddenly walked up to them. Her face was pale and her eyes screamed of panic, making both Ruby and Zelena feel uncomfortable.

“Granny, what's wrong?”

“Henry….Henry just called.. Regina.. She's at the hospital.”

*****

After dinner Emma and Hook returned to their suite. Killian quickly fell asleep by the TV. Emma wasn't surprised considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed…

The blonde was still anxious and when she had made sure Killian was indeed asleep, Emma walked outside to the balcony and sat down.

It was sunset and the sky was absolutely breathtaking. It made her sad though, seeing it alone, because she would do anything to have Regina her by her side, and be able to hold her hand…

_ Fuck Emma. You're so fucking in love with her. How and why did you ever try to deny this to yourself!? You idiot… _

The saviour shook her head as she put in her headphones and turned on some music. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. 

She tried to relax but it was useless. And soon enough, her phone buzzed and Emma snapped her eyes open in seconds.

“Ma?” Henry said and she smiled when she heard her son's voice, but suddenly that uneasy feeling returned to Emma's stomach again. Because she heard in Henry's voice that he had been crying.

Realizing that, and connecting the pieces, made Emma almost break down. She immediately knew that something had to be wrong with Regina.

_ Her Regina..  _

_ Her Queen! _

“Kid, what's wrong? Are you hurt?” Emma asked anxiously as she started to pace back and forth on the balcony. Without even thinking about it, she placed a cigarette in her mouth and lit it.

“Henry, please say something…“ she pleaded.

“I'm okay. Well I'm not hurt. But mom she's..” 

“What's wrong with Regina??!” Emma snapped and froze in her place.

“She's in the hospital.. “

“In the hospital?! Why is she at the hospital Henry!?“

“… she…” Henry took a deep breath, trying to get the words out before he broke down in tears again and Emma was shaking now.

“Mom tried to commit suicide.” 

 

**This is my fault.**


	6. Please forgive me

Emma felt her heart almost stop. Had she actually heard Henry right? No she hadn't. She couldn't!

“Ma? Are you still there?” Henry asked as the blonde had become awfully silent.

“Yeah kid… I'm here… ” Emma answered as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. This couldn't be happening..!

******

“Ma, I want you to come home.. Now. I need you... I'm so scared..” Henry sighed and Emma nodded before she realised her son couldn't see her.

“Has she woken up? I mean.. How bad is it?” Emma asked anxiously, knowing she dodged her son's pleading about her coming home and she felt terrible for it.

But Emma knew Killian would never let her go home earlier because Regina was in the hospital.

He would probably just shrug it off and tell her it was bad Regina hadn't actually died. Emma shivered and tugged on her underlip. This was her fault.

“I think so…. Ehm, do you want to talk to her?” Henry frowned, wondering why his birth mother had avoided his question. But he decided to not say anything about it, at least not for now. 

“Yeah kid..” Emma replied, as she sunk down on the sun chair and lit her another cigarette.

****

Regina didn't even want to meet Henry's eyes when he finally entered her room. She felt terrible and was so ashamed for putting him through all this.

“Mom?” he said, and noticed how his mother refused to meet his eyes. “Mom, please look at me. It's okay.”

His voice was so calm and once again he reminded her so much of Emma… so she carefully looked up and met his eyes. He offered her a small smile before he held out his phone to her. She frowned but took it from him and as she did that, he left the room.

****

It felt like it took forever before Regina picked up the phone. She didn't say anything at first but Emma recognized the breathing, so she knew it was  _ her _ Queen on the next line.

“Regina?” Emma sobbed out, the saviour asking as her voice broke. 

“Emma? Is.. Is that really you?” Regina whispered.

“Yes Gina. My queen. It's me…“ Emma replied with her heart still in her throat. She had never heard Regina sound so defeated.

So broken.

******

They simply listened to each other's breathing for awhile before Emma finally spoke up.

“Why…? I just need to know…“ Emma said.. “Is this… because of.. Me?” she added and quickly dried her eyes.

“Emma… I.. I don't know. I'm just tired of…” 

“Being alone?” Emma added and cut her off. 

“Yes,” Regina sighed into the phone.

“This is all my fault,” Emma said after a while of silence. “All this is my fucking fault. Please forgive me.”

******

“No Miss Swan.. It's not.”

“Of course it is!” Emma snapped.

“No, you have found your happy ending Miss Swan. I just have to accept that. So you don't have anything to apologize for,” Regina said, her voice breaking as well.

She was glad in a way that Emma couldn't see her now. Because boy did she look terrible.

She was so tired and so broken. She wasn't a queen anymore. Only a fucking wreck.

_ Love is weakness Regina,  _ she heard her mother say in her head. Over and over again.

****

_ You have found your happy ending Miss Swan  _ spun around in Emma's head and the blonde didn't know if she should laugh at it or cry.

Hook wasn't her happy ending, despite what the hell that fucking fairy had told her. But yet here she was, married to him, a fucking asshole who beat her.

She didn't know what to say right now.

Her first feeling was to leave.

To run.

But not to just run away to some random place to like she'd done as a teenager, no. She had someone to run to this time.

And that person was Regina.

A wave of sadness came over her once again as Emma reached down for another cigarette.

She just wanted to scream…

This was her fault. She was the only reason Regina was in the hospital, even if the Queen denied it. And probably always would.

****

Emma sat with her phone in her hand and just listened to Regina's breathing for a while again. It calmed her down in a way she couldn't put in to words and she missed all those times they'd fallen asleep next to each other.

Suddenly the balcony door behind her opened and she knew she had to play this smart…

_ Fuck. _

She dried her eyes fast and turned around to meet her husband.

“I hope you aren't speaking with  _ her, _ ” Hook snarled, his eyes dangerously dark.. Emma quickly shook her head at him. She hated herself for behaving like a fucking doormat…

This wasn't who she was.

*****

“No darling, I'm just speaking with Henry,” Emma replied with a false smile and he just nodded at her.

“Tell the boy I said hello and wrap it up now would you love, and come inside?” he said, or more  _ ordered  _ and shut the door behind him before Emma had the chance to reply.

“I'm sorry but.. Fuck. I gotta go..”

“It's okay Miss Swan,” Regina said and tried to hide the fact that it hurt her to hear Emma sound so fragile and afraid.

She would never treat Emma like Hook did. Never. Emma was so precious and deserved to be treated as such.

“I'll try to call you tomorrow, okay?” Emma said and before she ended the call she said, “And hey, Gina, I miss you.”

“I miss you too Miss Swan,” Regina said, even if the savior already had hung up.

****

Regina held the phone to her ear for a long while after Emma had hung up. She couldn't let go of the fact that Emma had said that she missed her. It made her feel a little bit better… but not very much..

“Mom?” Henry asked when he walked into the room again and Regina handed over his phone. “I'm sorry. I just.. I freaked out and called her. I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call… ”

“Henry, don't feel bad. You did what you felt was best. And I'm proud of you, dear,” Regina replied when the door suddenly flew open.

“Oh my god, Regina!” Zelena exhaled and ran into the room, accompanied by Ruby. Regina frowned but didn't say anything. She knew Ruby was trustworthy.

****

A couple of days later it was finally time to go home. Emma couldn't be more relieved, even if the anxiety was nagging at her at the same time.

Hook was probably gonna be even more controlling now and Emma was so freaking scared.

It felt like as soon as the ‘true Emma’ shined through, Hook got violent. But he was smart. He didn't hurt her on places on her body that could be seen by other people.

But Emma knew she had to end this madness. And soon. The bruises she had on her stomach were a constant reminder as well that she needed out.

****

When Regina was discharged from the hospital, Zelena moved in with her.

Regina had said it was unnecessary but her sister had refused to take No for an answer.

And Henry, went straight home every day after school. He only left the house when it was absolutely necessary and Regina felt terrible for that.

She felt like nothing but a burden to her family, even if she didn't say anything about it. So instead she had found another way to relieve her anxiety and that was through cutting.

******

The Queen’s arms looked terrible with all the scars but she was too tired to care. And her thighs looked even worse as she let the razor blade dance over her skin.

Regina was sitting on the bathroom floor, with her head against the bathtub and felt how she finally could breathe again as the blood poured from her cuts.

She wished she just could slit her wrists again, and succeed this time, but she didn't want either Henry or Zelena to find her, so she didn't.

In her mind she didn't have anything to live for, but suddenly she heard a voice that almost made her broken heart beat again.

_ Emma _


	7. I'm gonna fight for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story is heartbreaking but I promise it will be a happy ending :)

As soon as Emma and Killian had come home and unpacked the car, the blonde cleared her throat, making the pirate snap his head at her.

“What?!“ he snapped as he took a step closer her, making Emma take a small step backwards.

“I just… I wondered if I could go see Henry, ehm, if that's okay with you of course, and I guess I could drive my car back to the house at the same time.”

Emma was happy she couldn't see herself right now, because she knew she must have looked like a dog, with its tail between it’s legs, scared of its master’s rage.

“Fine. Just go. But don't take long,” he mumbled and Emma felt an enormous smile spread on her lips as she literally ran out of the house.

The happiness disappeared quickly though, because even if she was looking forward to seeing both Regina and Henry, she remembered what had happened to her queen, and as she thought about her suicide attempt, she shivered.

And Emma hated the fact that she had to use Henry as an excuse for simply seeing Regina, but what else could she do?

Hook couldn't deny her seeing her son and that was something Emma was glad for. But she knew it could quickly change. And he would have beat her senseless if he knew she was actually going to see Regina.

*****   
  
The Savior jogged home to Regina and suddenly felt nervous as she stood in front of the mansion’s door. She took a deep breath before she finally got the courage to knock on the door.

When Zelena opened the door though, Emma couldn't help but frown. Even if she offered her a crooked smile shortly after their eyes met.

******   
  
"Oh Emma, welcome home," Zelena said with a small smirk, and even if those particular words made the savior wonder what she meant by them, Emma chose to not ask.    
  
"Oh ehm, hi Zee, and thanks...I just wondered if Regina is home?" the blonde asked carefully.    
  
"Yeah, I guess she's upstairs, so why don't you come inside," Zelena gestured and Emma nodded, following suite.

Henry, who was on his way into the kitchen, quickly saw his birth mother and ran into her arms, almost knocking her off her feet.   
  
"Hi kid," Emma chuckled and wrapped her arms around him. Henry might be a teenager, but the blonde still saw him as that little ten year old that had showed up outside her door so so many years ago.

*****   
  
"I missed you ma, I've missed you so much," he said and just tightened his grip around her, before he heard Regina come down the stairs, making him reluctantly let go of Emma.   
  
"Miss Swan," Regina exhaled as she walked up to her and Henry in the hallway. The teenager grabbed Zelena and left the two women alone.

“My queen,” Emma said as she bowed down to the brunette. Regina couldn't help but let out a small chuckle before their hands slowly slid into each others.

_ God how much I've missed your touch…  _ Regina thought to herself before she pulled the blonde into an even tighter hug then Henry had given Emma minutes before.

Both women snuggled close to each other and Emma knew she was playing with fire right now, but she couldn't care less. Especially not as the thought hit her that she had been close to losing her queen.    
  
"I'm so sorry Regina. This is all my fault," Emma whispered, and the Queen felt her own eyes tear up. "I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me."

*****

As the blonde pulled away, her hand stroked Regina's cheek carefully. She did it before she quickly realized what she was doing and almost panicked, but when Regina kissed her knuckles, Emma let out a big breath of relief.    
  
"It's okay Emma. I'm still here aren’t I?" Regina said carefully and met the blonde's anxious and conflicted eyes.

Those green eyes were so beautiful, so much more beautiful than Regina remembered. How could that be possible?   
  
"Yeah but.. You could have… died.." Emma stuttered and dried her eyes. "You could have died because of me. And if you had.. I would never have forgiven myself.."

*****   
  
"Emma, that's over now. Okay? Besides that, I'm just glad you're finally back where you belong," Regina said with a gentle tone in her voice as they walked into the Queen’s study so they could get some privacy.

Regina lit the fireplace with her magic and poured two glass of apple cider, before they sat down on the couch.    
  
"I'm glad to be back," Emma replied and suddenly blurted out "I've missed you". The blonde blushed but she calmed down when she felt Regina squeeze one of her hands. The Saviour carefully looked up and met her Queen’s eyes.   
  
"I've missed you too," Regina replied and Emma felt her heart skip a beat. How could she have turned down his woman? This breathtaking Queen?

_ I'm so fucking stupid…. _

_ ***** _

Emma stayed for a couple of hours and even though she had spent some time with Henry, she hadn't been there for his sake like she'd told Killian.

She had come for Regina and just used him as an excuse. It still made her feel horrible but this whole thing with Regina's well being was still the thing that continued to give her cause to be concerned.

So before Emma left the mansion, she asked Henry to follow her outside on the porch.    
  
"Please close the door," Emma said with a low voice and Henry just nodded and did as he was told.    
  
"What's wrong ma?" he asked with a frown, because he could see there indeed was something wrong with his birth mother but she just ignored his question. Much to his disappointment but that was how Emma worked..

*****   
  
"Kid, I just have to know.. How is Regina actually holding up? Is she doing good like she told me or not?" Emma asked, even if she knew the answer he was about to give her.

Regina would never admit she was slowly falling apart, just as Emma didn't do. They were so alike. Both stubborn as mules…    
  
"Honestly?" Henry asked as his birth mother nodded at him. "Well I don't think she is doing that great… And I guess that's the biggest reason auntie Zee is living with us for the moment..”

Emma let out a sigh. This was just the answer Emma didn't want to hear…    
  
"Fuck… and everything's my fault… “ Emma said with a groan and without a thinking, put her hands on top of her head, and it made her shirt show accidentally a bit of her stomach.   
  
"Ma? Hold on.. What's that?" Henry questioned and touched his birth mother's stomach.

Fuck…. 

  
"Ah, that's nothing. I fell. Ehm. You know how clumsy I am, right kid?" Emma shrugged and quickly pulled down her shirt, knowing that her son didn't believe that stupid lie for a second.

"Ma… is Hook abusing you?"

******   
  
Regina who was standing close to the door, heard every word. She felt terrible for eavesdropping, and it hadn't been her intention to begin with, she had just wanted to hear Emma's voice as much as she could.

But suddenly she heard Henry ask a question that made her stop breathing for a second.    
  
Regina gasped and didn't know what to do, so she acted on her intuition and opened the door with a bang, making both Henry and Emma flinch.   
  
"Mom?"   
  
"Gina?"   
  
"Is that true, Miss Swan?” Regina asked as she took a step closer to the obviously freaking out blonde.

“ Is what true?” Emma asked, trying to sound confused, even if she failed miserably.

“Stop playing stupid and just answer my damn questions, Miss swan! Is that idiot of a pirate actually…. abusing you?" Regina's voice was sharp and dangerous.

It reminded Emma of how Regina used to sound back in the days, when the saviour had just arrived in Storybrooke all those years ago.

Henry looked back at his birth mother and Emma sighed. She knew she couldn't dodge this question. No, not when the Queen was standing and looking straight through her.   
  
"Answer the question Miss Swan!" she finally snapped as she had grown impatient.   
  
"Yes… he… yes I guess he does... But only when I deserve it… I guess? I don't know…"

Emma's voice broke, along with was left of her self esteem. Her whole body was shaking by now as well.

It made Henry grip his birth mother's hands and drag her into a hug but the blonde pushed him backwards. She was panicking. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't do this. Not now.

And maybe not ever.

*****   
  
The Saviour turned around to run to her car, but with a simple wave of the Queen's hand the blonde soon stood on porch again. Emma groaned to herself as she remembered this town had magic.   
  
"Please Regina. I gotta go. He's gonna wonder where I am.. Please," Emma pleaded and the Queen felt her heart break.

This wasn't  **her** Emma. What the hell had Hook actually done to her?

She knew Emma had changed her behavior since she had gotten involved with that disgusting pirate but it seemed she had become so much more damaged since their honeymoon. 

Regina thought of the simpler times and remembered the strong woman Emma once had been.

*****

_ When Regina came home and parked her car, she raised an eyebrow when she spotted Henry and Emma outside on the lawn. They were both wearing awful working out clothes, that looked like they were taken right out of the eighties. _

_ As she closed the car door, Emma waved at her as she walked up to them. _

_ “Do I even want to know you two are up to?“ Regina asked as she shook her head at them. They surely looked ridiculous, but she loved days like these, coming home to both Emma and Henry. _

_ “Ma is teaching me self defense!“ Henry stated with a proud grin and Regina glanced back to the Sheriff. _

_ “Oh really now? And how come?“ Regina questioned, as she had to fight back her laughter. _

_ “We were just bored and you always nag on us to be outside in the sun, and I like working out so..” Emma replied with a shrug and Regina just shook her head at them. _

_ “Well I'm going to go inside and prepare some dinner so you can.. Continue with your, lessons, Miss Swan.” _

_ “Why don't you join us? “ Henry suddenly said, almost jumping up and down on the spot. _

_ “Excuse me?“ _

_ “Yeah come on Gina, it will be fun! “ _

_ “I don't think so Miss Swan, because I'm a queen and I wouldn't even allow myself to as much as get near hideous clothes like that,” Regina said and chuckled when she turned around to walk inside the house. _

_ “You're no fun,” Emma said with a pout when she suddenly was surrounded by a whirl of purple smoke. And even if Regina had her back turned against them, she could see Emma's look in her face. _

_ She had changed Emma's clothes so now she was wearing a pink dress instead, with a small tiara on her head. _

_ “That's not funny!“ the blonde said with a groan. _

_ “To me it is,” Regina replied and met the blonde's eyes. “Anyhow. princess, dinner is in one hour, dear.” _

******   
  
How could Emma let herself become this… this person? She wasn't even a shadow of whom she used to be. It was painful to see, especially for Regina to see the sheer fear in Emma's eyes.

So with a big sigh Regina waved with her hand again and let go of Emma. The blonde offered her a crooked smile in reply before she ran to her bug and jumped into it, and drove away, without even saying so much as goodbye.

******   
  
It made Regina sink down on the bench behind her and Henry joined her. He swung an arm around her and pulled her close. The queen leaned her her head against his shoulder and shivered.    
  
"I'm so sorry mom," Henry said carefully.

He felt so upset about this, and knew that one thing had to be done. And that was to talk with his grandparents, or at least with his grandmother, about what he had just discovered. He couldn't turn a blind eye to this. He just couldn't!    
  
"I'm so stupid, Henry… I'm so so stupid. I knew Hook was hurting her.. Yet I haven't done anything about it.…" Regina mumbled but Henry heard every word.

Sadly, before he had a chance to react, the queen had disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke.    
  
"Ugh I hate magic sometimes…" Henry groaned to himself and stood to his feet. He jumped up on his bike and headed over to his grandparents.

This had to be dealt with. And  **now.**

*****   
  
When Emma parked her bug, she was so incredibly relieved that Killian’s car wasn't there. That meant she had a chance to gather her thoughts and pull herself together.

But when she realized the the front door was unlocked, she frowned. She hesitated a bit before she walked inside though and as she entered the kitchen she saw her mother.  

Who had even given her an extra key?   
  
"Emma darling," Snow smiled and hugged her daughter tightly. "I've been waiting for hours. Where have you been?"   
  
"At Regina's I ehm… I visited Henry," Emma shrugged, imminently avoiding eye contact as she took over doing the dishes that Snow had just started with.

"What are you even doing here?" Emma asked, going for nonchalant.

“That's not a way to greet your own mother!“

“Sorry.. But I'm tired.. So Please just… answer my question, okay?“   


******  


Snow sighed as she sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and Emma rolled her eyes at her mother's childish behavior. 

  
"Well if you are so eager to know… I'm here because of Regina.”

Even if Emma wasn't surprised hearing that reason, she still got angry by it, so she stopped doing the dishes and turned around to meet Snow's eyes, leaning against the counter.

“Oh please explain mom.”  

“Well, to begin with, we have to get Henry to move in with you on a full-time basis and make sure he keeps his distance from that snake of a woman. We should probably make sure you get full custody of Henry also," Snow explained and that tone she had in her voice made Emma wonder what was the reason behind Snow’s actions.

It made Emma's skin crawl but she chose to keep quiet and play along in this stupid game. At least for a while. Even if she wanted to punch her mother straight in her face. But she was curious to hear what her mother wanted to say more.   
  
"And why's that? I'm happy with the way Regina and I have chosen to have Henry. And besides, she is more a mother to him than I'll ever be," Emma said with a shrug, knowing her choice of words would make her mother go absolutely crazy.

And wow, did they…    
  
"She never has been and never will be Henry's mother! You're the one who gave birth to him and besides that, Regina wants to tear you and Hook apart! Simply because she can't stand seeing others happy!"   
  


×******   
  
"What hell do you mean by that last thing?" Emma asked frowning, tugging on her lower lip, as she tried to process her mother's words at the same time.

But she didn't even get the chance to do so, because now Snow stood to her feet and Emma rolled her eyes.   
  
"Because I overheard Regina talking to Zelena a while back and Regina.. she….. She… the evil queen, said she had feelings for you!”

“That means it's only a matter of time before she rips Hook’s heart out of his chest and crushes it, killing Henry's stepfather! And… And force you to be with her, to get back at me! Emma she's evil and.." that was the final straw for the blonde. So she cut her mother of with a dangerous growl in her voice, making her mother take an enormous step backwards. 

  
"That's enough! Regina isn't evil! She's just human, just as anybody else in this godforsaken town! When the hell will you get it through your thick skull that you aren't snow-white in this world and that means she's not the evil Queen, so please just stop this madness!!"   


******

"Stop what, love?" Hook asked as he suddenly entered the kitchen and Emma almost ducked as he pulled her into a deep kiss. The confidence that had been in her whole body only seconds ago, was gone.

The power in her eyes disappeared as well, and she looked nothing but pale. Just as if she had just seen a ghost.

It was of course nothing Snow saw, or simply just chose to ignore…

******

She just walked over and gave Hook a big hug, with a big smile on her lips. It made Emma almost sick to her stomach. He was truly a psychopath…    
  
"Oh Killian, I'm so happy to see you. We were just discussing a problem," Snow said and the pirate glanced at his wife and then back to her mother.   
  
"Aye, I guess we are discussing that evil Queen now, aren't we love?"   
  
"Yes! She has to go! She apparently has feelings for my daughter. Your wife! That's not right in any way and we have stop her plan of destroying your happiness!"

******

Snow rambled on for what felt like hours and Emma went outside for a cigarette somewhere in all the chaos. She quickly sent Regina a text, almost fearing Killian would strip her of all personal things she owned after her mother had left. 

**Swan :** I should have chosen you. I'm sorry.

After sending that text, Emma quickly turned the phone off. She had a code he would never be able to figure out if the phone was dead, because if he saw that text she had just sent, he would kill her…

He already hated Regina and after hearing Snow’s story, well, Emma would never be able to see that beautiful woman again…

Killian’s controlling behavior would only get worse and the beating would probably too.

_ Thanks mom.. _

*****   


When Emma came back inside again, she shook her head at her mother and so-called husband. Then she disappeared into her own world for a while. Her memories were the only thing Killian never could take away from her.

"Don't worry love, that evil Queen isn't gonna get close to my wife. I promise," Hook grinned to Snow and the woman smiled at him.    
  
"I knew I could trust you Killian," she replied. "Now we just have to get Henry out of that house to begin with, right Emma?"   
  
The saviour just stood there and didn't know what to do. Her mind was spinning but when she heard Hook scream her name, she snapped back to reality, knowing her drifting away in her own thoughts, was something she would have to pay for later.

But right now she didn't care. Why would she. This was her life now. The little part of who the warrior, bad ass, savior she had once been, was long gone now.    
  
"Yes Killian," Emma replied, almost acting on autopilot.   
  
"Good. We'll discuss our plan tomorrow," Snow said, then left the house.

*****   
  
Killian made sure the door was shut and locked before he pushed Emma up against the refrigerator. The blonde felt his hand around her neck and she gasped for air. His eyes were black and his grin made her nauseous. She knew  **that** look too well.   
  
"I'll never let you go, love. Because you're mine," he sneered before he pressed his lips against Emma's and his hand found his way down in to her pants.

The savior tried to get loose but that only earned her a smack to her face, and much to her surprise because Hook had never before left a bruise where someone could see it, but now he had just acted on feeling.   
  
Emma felt the familiar, coppery taste of blood from her lip and figured her husband's hook must have scratched her face badly. He didn't say a word about it, he just ripped of her pants and pressed inside of her. She didn't even have the energy to scream.

The only thing Emma could do was to close her eyes and try to let her mind wonder.   
  
And of course she thought of Regina. And those simpler times. When she had been herself and not someone's possession.

****   
  
"Henry," David smiled as he opened the door to let his grandson inside. He was more observant than his wife so he immediately saw something was bothering the teenager.

"Is something wrong?" he added as Henry closed the door behind him.   
  
"Hook is a idiot," he simply stated, without thinking and his grandfather raised an eyebrow.   
  
"How so?"   
  
"He's abusing ma!"   
  
"That's not true!" a voice behind him snapped and Henry didn't even bother to turn around. He knew it was his grandmother. 

"That's just something Regina says because she wants Emma for herself."   
  
"Snow calm down," David warned. He knew what a hot temperament his wife had and especially when it came to her nemesis Regina. And he was sick of this, whatever it now was.    
  
"Oh, then how do you explain the bruises covering Ma’s stomach then!?" Henry snapped, as he turned around to face his grandmother. He was taller than her and refused to back down.   
  
"Regina has magic! She probably used that to trick you!" Snow snarled and gritted her teeth.   
  
"Snow please," David pleaded, only to receive a glare from his wife.    
  
"I know what I saw and I know my mom would  **never** do something like that to trick me. And she got even more upset than I did!" Henry shot back, taking yet another step towards Snow before he understood this was useless and left the apartment, banging the door shut behind him.

******   
  
Emma was still in the kitchen. She hadn't moved a meter since Hook had raped her, even if it probably had been hours since he had left for the docks. But she didn't have so much as a spark of energy left in her.    
  
"How the fuck did I let this happen…"

Emma Swan was no more. She didn't even know who she was at this moment. And the only thing that twirled in her mind was Regina.

She wanted nothing more than to run to her, but she could barely keep her eyes open. And her body was aching.   


*****   


Regina teleported herself to the only place nobody would be able to disturb her. Her vault.

She needed to be alone and try to clear her thoughts, even if she knew nothing would help. This whole thing with Emma was just stirring up even more chaos than before.

The little darkness left in her, wanted nothing but to rip Hook’s heart out of his chest and crush it, but she knew that would only make things worse.

The town already saw her as a villain. She leaned over her dad's grave and let her tears roll down her cheeks.   
  
"Emma, you should have chosen me…"

*****

When Regina finally left the vault, she decided to walk home instead. She needed some fresh air and on her way back, she ran into Ruby.   
  
"Oh Regina. How are you?" the wolf asked anxiously. She hadn't seen Regina since she'd visited her at the hospital.    
  
"I'm good Miss Lucas. How are you?"   
  
"Nah I'm good. Just out blowing off some steam. You know, wolf time is upon us," she shrugged and the Queen nodded to her.    
  
"So is Emma home now by the way?" Ruby added with a small grin.    
  
"Yes she is. I've ehm…” Regina hesitated momentarily and continued, as if on autopilot, “Yes she's home again."

"Ehm Regina, I know we don't actually know each other that well, but I have heard Snow ramble on about you at the diner and saying you got feelings for Emma, I just… is that true?"

****,    
  
Regina frowned at the question, but she knew Ruby was to be trusted because she wasn't Snow's so called 'ally' anymore.

The Queen had even witnessed one time at the diner how Ruby had almost turned into a wolf because Snow had made her upset because of something.    
  
Regina looked back at Ruby and sighed.   
  
"Yes. I have feelings for Miss Swan…" Regina shrugged. "But what does that matter? She's married."

*****   
  
"So?" the wolf shrugged, almost challenging the Queen. "Belle was married as well to that stupid man but that didn't stop me, now did it?”

“No of course not but it's.. Different,” Regina sighed. 

“No it's not! Come on Regina. Fight for her! Besides that, yours truly has waited for you guys to get together for years and that stupid pirate shouldn't be a reason not to give it a shot. You're made for each other!" Regina listened carefully to Ruby's words.   
  
"I don't know Miss Lucas. Snow is up to something and I don't have the strength to fight anymore. I'm so tired, so tired," Regina stated and dragged her fingers through her hair. "I just have to accept the fact Emma is never gonna be mine."   
  
"Stop thinking like that Regina. A queen takes what she wants right?" Ruby smirked.   
  
"I wish it was as simple as you make it, dear."   
  
"Well I'm here for you Regina. A wolf can be good in a battle against someone who just can use a bow you know," Ruby said with a smirk, making the queen feel a little better.

*****   
  
Regina invited Ruby back to the mansion so they could speak without anyone eavesdropping on them, because she knew Snow had ears everywhere.   
  
"Some cider?" Regina asked and the wolf nodded with a grin. She took the glass and followed the Queen into her study. Regina waved with her hand and lit the fireplace as the both women sat down in each of the arm chairs.   
  
"Oh can I join you?" Zelena suddenly asked and popped her head into the room and Regina just nodded at her. Her sister was sweet but God was she nosy sometimes. Or more like,  **always.**

*****   
  
"So, what's the plan?" Ruby asked after she had downed her first glass.   
  
"Plan?" Regina frowned.   
  
"Yeah we totally need a plan for this! Or an operation like Henry would have said!" Zelena joined in and the Queen just shook her head. She knew her sister and the wolf were right.   
  
Regina leaned back but she knew couldn't just leave this alone. Not even if Emma wouldn't return her feelings. In the end she still was her friend and Regina couldn't turn a blind eye to this disgusting thing that Hook was up to.

*****   
  
It took hours before Emma finally found the strength to stand up. She pulled up her pants, or more what was left of them and poured herself a glass of water. Her head was spinning and it felt like she couldn't breathe.   
  
"Ma?" a voice asked carefully and Emma smiled carefully when she saw Henry enter the room.

His eyes teared up though, when he what his birth mother looked like… he walked up to her and pulled her into a tight hug and this time the saviour didn't pull away. She let herself break down in his arms.

"I'm never gonna let him touch you again ma. I promise you that."

*****   
  
Zelena, Ruby and Regina sat by the fire a long while and talked. Regina didn't understand how the wolf could have been friends with a person such as Snow. She was so like Regina and that made her smirk a bit.   
  
Suddenly the door opened with a bang and Regina waved with her hand and teleported herself to the hallway and couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Henry practically holding up the weight of Emma who was leaning against his body.

She looked even more broken than she'd ever had and her clothes were ripped to shreds. It made her blood boil.

******

Emma also had a big cut on her face and The Queen didn't have to ask what Hook had done to her.. She knew. And it made her shiver.

  
"Let me take her Henry," Regina said carefully and Emma laid her arms around her and they disappeared in a whirl of smoke.   
  
They re-appeared in the guestroom and Emma collapsed on the bed. She didn't even climb under the covers. She just curled up into a ball on the bed and started to shake.

And it didn't take long before she was crying.

That sight made the Queen’s heart ache, and she didn't want to leave her alone. So instead she sat down on the bed and started to stroke Emma's hair, making the saviour relax a little bit.   
  
"What has he done to you Emma…" Regina breathed. "My beautiful Swan."   
  
With a simple wave of the Queen's hand she dressed Emma in pajamas and tucked her in. 

The blonde looked so defeated as she laid there in the bed. Regina was still sitting on the bedside and their eyes locked.

Regina didn't want anything else but to lean in and kiss Emma but she didn't want to push the broken savior. Especially not now.

******   


Instead Regina continued to stroke Emma's hair before she finally stood up, knowing Emma needed to rest, but as soon as she stood up the saviour grabbed the Queen's arm. She turned around and met Emma's terrified eyes.   
  
"Please… please stay with me?" Emma pleaded and Regina nodded, not sure what she should do. Or say.

_ I would never hurt you like he has. _

****   
  
Even if Emma didn't say a thing, Regina knew what she needed. So carefully the queen laid down behind her and wrapped her arms around the broken savior.

Emma hadn't felt this safe in a such long time, so she quickly fell asleep almost as soon she felt the Queen’s embrace but unfortunately Regina couldn't sleep.

Her mind was racing like crazy because she knew that soon someone would take Emma from her again. And it broke her heart.   
  
Regina knew that tomorrow Snow would certainly stand outside her door, accompanied by the whole town, screaming about how she had Emma under some spell or something. And that she planned to kill Hook. Regina groaned and let her grip around Emma tighten.   
  
"I'm gonna fight for you Emma…" she whispered. “I'm never going to let him hurt you again… “

*****   
  
The blonde pressed her body as close to Regina's as she could, because she was desperate for comfort, warmth and safety.

Emma awakened after an hour or so but she didn't dare to move. She didn't want to lose this wonderful feeling of Regina's arms around her, so she laid still with her eyes closed, listening to Regina's words and feeling her heart overflow with love.    
  
"I'm gonna fight for you Emma. You're safe here. I promise. I would never treat you like him. And he's supposed to be the good guy and I'm the bad one.. That's so idiotic…” Regina whispered, not knowing that the saviour was awake and heard every word she said. 

  
"I would have treated you better than the biggest treasure in the world. I would have let you be who you are, because that's the person I fell for. And I would never let you fall asleep without knowing how much I love you. Because I Do Emma. I love you so, so much."   
  
Emma suddenly wiggled and Regina's grip loosened as the blonde turned around. Regina's first thought was to pull away, but she didn't. She laid still and reached out and touched Emma's face with her hand. It didn't take more than mere seconds before the awful scar was gone thanks to her magic.   
  
"Regina?" Emma said.   
  
"Mm?"   
  
"Kiss me."


	8. The saviour wants her queen

Regina didn't want anything more than to do what Emma asked, to kiss her lips, but she hesitated. The Saviour saw the confusion in her Queen's eyes and she let her fingertips brush against that bronzed cheek.    
  
"I love you too, you know," the blonde said carefully, "but I really fucked up by choosing Hook." Regina offered the blonde a crooked smile and placed a kiss on her forehead, before she sat up, making Emma frown.

*****   
  
"You need some sleep Miss Swan," she said carefully, trying to avoid this subject. "And in the morning we can try to sort out this mess okay?"   
  
"It's gonna be hard, my queen, I know.. But I'm willing to if you are," Emma replied and used the last energy she had to sit up and reached for Regina's hands. The savior kissed her knuckles. And the queen couldn't help but look confused by the words she had just heard.

So Emma continued.    
  
"What I want to say is…. well… fuck this whole fairytale bullshit… because now I want to let my heart choose who I'm supposed to be with instead, you know?"   
  
"Oh?" Regina smirked. "And who does your heart want?"   
  
"The saviour wants her Queen," Emma purred and pulled Regina so close that she could feel her breath on her skin. 

  
"That sounds good my dear, because the Queen wants her saviour," Regina said, and she finally leaned in and kissed Emma.

_ Wow….  _ Both of them thought to themselves.

*****

The kiss was filled with feelings, so many feelings, but it held a promise that Regina would protect the blonde. No matter the price to herself. At any cost.

Regina would never let go of her now and would never let Emma get hurt again.   
  
"I promise you I will keep you safe from here on out Miss Swan, because," Regina said and let her lips brush against Emma's once again, "I love you too."

They kissed each other for awhile, and when they finally parted in order to breathe, both of them were smiling like teenagers.

*****   
  
Finally they fell asleep in each other’s arms and Henry smiled when he found them snuggling close the next morning.   
  
"Wow. All hail the Queen." Ruby smirked and swung her arm around Henry. She had been way too drunk to go home so she had crashed on Regina's couch.

“I have waited for this to happen for so long,” he stated proudly.

"Me too kid, so what do you say to a grilled cheese at granny's? My treat of course.”    
  
"Yeah that sounds way too good to turn down," Henry smiled back.   
  
"Then let's go, and give the two lovebirds some alone time, huh?"   
  
"Yeah."

*******

When Emma woke up she didn't realise where she actually was, but then she felt Regina's breath on her neck. It made her smile so much it made her cheeks hurt. But in a good way for once.

When Regina woke up, and realized it was Emma who laid in her arms, she pulled her close and placed a tender kiss on her neck.

Emma couldn't remember when she had felt this happy. And this was what she'd always wanted. To wake up and feel safe. Wanted. And loved.   
  
She tried to remember the last time she had woken up with a smile as big like like this. Hook had been wonderful in the beginning of their relationship but that was long gone by now.

Nowadays when they actually woke up together, the stench of alcohol on his breath always lingered to Emma and his kisses were sloppy and his hands were clumsy…

_ I could get used to waking up like this… _ Emma told herself as she snuggled even closer Regina.

******   
  
"Just wait here kid, and I'll go and fix those grilled cheeses, okay?" Ruby smiled and ruffled his hair before she disappeared into the kitchen.

Henry sat down in a booth and opened one of his comic books, but before he even got the chance to read the first page, the door to the diner flew open and grabbed the comic book from his hands. He ducked down under the table as soon as he saw it was his grandmother, with her bow around her and Hook by her side.   
  
"Everyone, can I get your attention?!" Snow shouted and climbed up on one of the tables. Henry swallowed hard. He didn't like this. Not at all.

*****   
  
"What’s all the ruckus out in my diner…" Granny huffed as she took a quick look, and growled when she turned back to Ruby.   
  
“So, what's going out there Granny?" the redhead asked curiously as she plated hers and Henry's food.   
  
"It's that stupid Snow White again! Who else would it be huh!? God! I'm so sick and tired of her using my diner as some stage for all her stupid speeches. I swear to God I…"   
  
"Wait a minute," Ruby said and cut her grandmother off. "I thought you were friends with her?"   
  
"Snow White?" Granny huffed. "Not anymore. That was long ago. I actually stand on Regina's side in all this… Madness.”   
  


*****

The wolf grinned at her grandmother, but her grin quickly disappeared as she suddenly remembered Henry was sitting outside in the diner.   
  
"Shit! Henry's out there. Snow's gonna interrogate him if she sees him! What am I gonna do? I can't sneak him out either.. Fuck me…" Ruby mumbled when her granny walked up to her and laid her hand on her shoulder.    
  
"My dear granddaughter, you know you have the absolute perfect way to get Henry home and also to get all these stupid people out of my diner.

“Huh?” Ruby asked with a frown.

“Embrace your inner wolf my dear,” Granny said with a smile.    
  
"Oh! I love your thinking, Granny," Ruby replied and disappeared into the pantry where she transformed to her wolf in just a matter of seconds.   
  
"Now go and show them your teeth my girl and make your old woman proud," Granny chuckled and quietly opened the backdoor for her.

*******   
  
"What's wrong Snow?" one of the dwarfs asked anxiously.    
  
"My daughter is missing!" Snow replied. “Killian’s wife is gone!“   
  
"Aye!” Hook said and took a step forward. "And we all know who is to blame, right?"   
  
"The evil queen!" another dwarf shouted.   
  
"Precisely!" Snow snapped. "She has my daughter under some spell to make her fall in love with her! And she's gonna kill Emma's true love if we don't act fast!"   
  
"Yes my queen! Emma belongs to Hook!" someone shouted and granny who was listening from the kitchen, just shook her head at them.

Then she heard people scream and that made her smirk.

_ Give them your best shot Ruby. _

********   
  
"Good morning my Queen," Emma purred and Regina smiled at her when they woke up again.    
  
"I can't believe you're actually here. In my arms…" Regina said carefully and the saviour pecked her lips.    
  
"I'm finally where I belong," Emma smiled and leaned in for a light kiss that made the butterflies in her stomach go absolutely crazy.

She had taken off her wedding ring the last night and now as she was looking into Regina's eyes, she knew she was looking at her future. It made Emma begin to feel like herself again.   
  
Regina let her fingers gently touch Emma's cheek and smiled at her. In some way the saviour looked like herself again, and that made the Queen so, so happy.

And having the blonde here, finally, in her arms, made her almost cry of happiness. Regina had dreamed about this for so long that it almost felt too good to be true.

*****   
  
"Regina?" Emma suddenly asked, making the Queen snap back to the reality.   
  
"Yes, Miss Swan?"   
  
"I'm sorry for letting it go this far. I guess… I was just so afraid," Emma shrugged and tugged on her lower lip. “And then Killian started…”

Regina gently placed her finger on Emma's lips, and their eyes locked.

“Shh, we don't have to talk about what has been, okay?”

“But Gina… I have to tell you this, because I want you to know.. Please?“ Emma pleaded, and Regina pecked her lips and gave her a nod.

“I want you to know that I have always loved you, I guess. Even if you drove me absolutely fucking crazy in the beginning, my queen… But there was something, something deep in your eyes and inside of you, that made me fall for you in a instant.

Sadly I was too fucking scared to act on my feelings. And then Robin showed up and you seemed so happy and then Hook came in the picture as well and that whole speech about the fairy dust saying Killian was my true love…"   
  
The Queen cut her off once again, but this time with a tender kiss on her cheek. Because she knew how hard it was Emma for to talk like this, about her feelings.

******   
  
"Miss Swan, you don't own me an explanation, dear, nor an apology," Regina said with a gentle tone.    
  
"No I know, but… I have to get this off my chest… Anyway.. Everything… It Just happened so fast and suddenly my mom and I were planning a wedding. Or more like, she was planning a wedding… It was so unreal! But I didn't dare to speak up."

The tears stung in the savior’s eyes at this point and Regina gently took Emma's hands in hers and kissed her knuckles.    
  
"I even remember sometimes when it actually felt like I was standing beside myself and just stared at you know, myself and I just thought, what the fuck is going on?

Some nights I even cried myself to sleep… it wasn't supposed to be like this… Killian wasn't supposed to be anything but a fling.. But everything just, you know… got all turned around. And all I really wanted, was to be with you…"   
  


*****

Regina felt her eyes tear up now when she heard the saviour’s words. Her heart broke because she knew how Emma had felt. She knew exactly, because it had been the same for Regina when her mother had married her off to King Leopold. It wasn't supposed to be like that… But it happened anyway, because she had been helpless. Just as Emma.

The queen pulled her saviour into a tight hug and kissed her forehead.   
  
"It's gonna be okay Emma. I promise. You're safe with me. And I love you, okay?" Emma looked up and met the Queen's eyes. They were so kind, so calm and so determined.

And Emma knew Regina meant every single word she said.

******   
  
"I was just so afraid to say no to Hook when he proposed. Because I was afraid I would lose my family if I did… and I don't want to lose them, you know? But I fucked up everything anyway…"   
  
"Miss Swan, it's okay. I'm not angry with you," Regina said carefully.   
  
"I know my Queen, but I can't let go of the guilt. I could have lost you that night. I was so afraid, Regina, when Henry called me… I don't know if I have ever been so terrified in my whole life…”    
  
Regina started to hum as she rocked Emma in her arms. The Saviour was so tense and anxious but after awhile she finally relaxed and Regina chuckled when she heard her snore.   
  
"I promise I will protect you against everything and everyone."

*******

Regina held Emma right in her arms but sleep never came to her. She couldn't stop her mind from spinning like crazy. Why was this a problem? That she and Emma loved each other and wanted to be together?

Regina kissed Emma's neck before she carefully untangled herself and sat up in the bed and started to sob quietly.

She knew it was only a matter of time before Emma would be ripped away from her…

It broke her heart as she dried her eyes and glanced at Emma. With a simple wave of her hand, she undressed her down to her underwear, and gasped as she saw all the bruises covering her body. She waved with her hand once again and shook her head.

She couldn't let anybody rip Emma away from her. She would rather die than let that happen.

With a big sigh and a heavy heart, Regina laid down again, but this time with her back against Emma. It took no more than a minute before she felt the saviour wrap her arms around her, still fast asleep. Finally Regina could relax and drift off to sleep herself. 


	9. It was the Queen's turn to save her

"A wolf!" someone screamed as Ruby entered the diner. Her eyes were shining yellow and she was showing her sharp teeth in a dangerous growl.

Snow turned around and frowned when she saw Ruby. The redhead had been Snow's friend in the enchanted forest, but not since the curse had been broken, for some reason.    
  
Snow figured Ruby must have had to be under Regina's spell, which meant the wolf was going to kill her if she didn't act fast. 

Snow raised her her bow and was about to shoot an arrow at Ruby, but before she could even reach for her arrows, the wolf had grabbed her foot and dragged her down on the floor, making her bang her head on the table and knock her out.

  
Hook just watched it all happen, but he showed his true colors as he headed for the door together with all the others and fled. Granny couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. Snow’s allies weren't as loyal as the stupid princess seemed to think.

But as she heard Ruby's dangerous growl, the old woman snapped back to reality though. 

Granny saw how Ruby, of course accidentally, scratched Snow's face and Granny knew she had to do something, and that fast. Before Ruby ripped Snow to pieces.

******

Henry, who still was hiding under the table, watched the wolf curiously. He had only read about wolves as a kid but had never seen one in action like this. He was totally amazed by it.    
  
Ruby was so angry by now, that she even drooled over Snow, gritting her teeth, ready to kill. She was still a young wolf, who hadn't learned to control her powers.    
  
"Ruby!" Granny suddenly screamed and the wolf's head snapped up mere inches from Snow and met the old woman's eyes.

“I order you to stand down! “ Ruby laid her ears back and stepped away from Snow. Henry was even more amazed by seeing Granny right now. He knew she was a old wolf too, but it had been many years since she had transformed to one. But that didn't matter. She was still the alpha, so of course Ruby did as her leader said.

Suddenly the unconscious Snow snapped her eyes open and stood to her feet, as she realized she was alone.

She brushed herself off, and gave Granny a confused look. She had always thought the old woman was still her ally. Apparently she had been wrong. Or maybe she hadn't, maybe she was under Regina's spell as well.

  
"What the hell Eugenia!" Snow sneered, and was about to take a step forward, but froze in her spot as Ruby growled at her and showed her teeth. The wolf clawed the floor she was standing on and her ears were slicked backwards.   
  
"Yes Snow White?" Granny asked with a nonchalant tone as she walked up to her granddaughter and patted her head. The move made the wolf relax at least a bit, but she was still on edge, ready to attack if needed.

******   
  
"Are you trying to kill me?! Are you also under Regina's stupid spell?!"   
  
"Enough!" Henry suddenly screamed and climbed out from the table to face his grandmother.    
  
"Henry," Snow breathed and was about to go up to him but the wolf didn't allow her to even get close to him, so Snow frowned and tugged on her lower lip.   
  
"Snap out of this delusion grandma, because Regina hasn't put anyone under some stupid spell. That's just something you have made up in your own mind!"   
  
Snow felt the anger boil inside her. Regina had everyone under her stupid spell, even Henry it seemed. It made her furious. Ruby quickly sensed the anger and slicked her ears backwards once again and growled even more.

*******   
  
"Get the hell out of my diner," Granny snarled at Snow.   
  
"You're gonna regret this," Snow snapped. "You're all gonna get what's coming to you!"   
  
"Just get out!"   
  
Snow left the diner with a huff and Henry met Granny's old, wise eye with a big sigh.   
  
"I wish she could just accept ma is in love with mom.." Henry shrugged and the wolf, who was suddenly calm, nudged him with her head, trying to cheer him up.

******   
  
Emma chuckled when she woke up again. She had fallen asleep with her arms wrapped around Regina.

She couldn't understand how she could have chosen Hook over her Queen. Everything with Regina was so beautiful.

The Saviour was finally happy, but unfortunately the people around her, like her mother, didn't approve of this. She still lived in her fairytale world and had chosen Hook for Emma. And the saviour didn't even have the right to say anything about it.

******   
  
But now Emma would end all that. Despite what everyone else told her or thought.

She was sick and tired of being Hook’s punching bag and fed up with being her mother's stupid fairytale princess. That wasn't who she was.

She was Emma Swan!

A badass girl who could take care of herself. A woman who had literally gone through hell and came back. A survivor. A warrior. Emma wasn't herself with Hook.

Getting together with Regina, meant she would be able to find herself again. She would be able to light her inner fire. Especially now when she finally had  _ her _ Queen by her side.   
  
But she couldn't do it on her own. Now it was the Queen's turn to save her. Just like the saviour had saved her numerous times before.

*****   
  
Suddenly the door downstairs opened with a bang and Regina snapped her eyes open in a matter of seconds. She waved her hand and teleported herself and Emma downstairs, before the blonde even had the chance to react.    
  
"Henry! What is…" Regina began to say but stopped when she spotted Ruby as a wolf next to him.

Ruby just showed off her teeth before she transformed back to her human self.   
  
"Does anyone care to explain to me what on earth is going on?" Regina asked with a sharp tone. "Or did you just decide to take the wolf for a walk Henry?"

But she never got an answer as she saw Henry walk up to his birth mother instead and put his hand on her shoulder, making the blonde flinch and quickly duck, almost as if she was expecting Killian was there to beat her.

Her reaction to his simple touch, made Henry's heart break.  _ This wasn't his Emma. _

"Ma, are… are you okay?" Henry asked carefully as Ruby and Regina went to the kitchen to give them some privacy.    
  
"I don't know kid…" Emma shrugged.   
  
"I'm glad you and mom are finally getting together," Henry said as he hugged her. "I just wanted you to know that."   
  
"Thanks kid. I appreciate it," the blonde sighed. "But I wish it would be easier. Someone is gonna get hurt because of me and I'm terrified that someone is gonna be Regina…"

******

Before Regina and Ruby came out into the kitchen, the queen poured them some coffee and they sat down at the table.

“That stupid pirate has really destroyed the strong woman Emma used to be huh?” Ruby said as her eyes met Regina's.

“Yes… I'm afraid so Miss Lucas, but it's called true love… At least to some of the people in this stupid town..“ Regina said and blinked away her tears.

“Pardon my language now, my queen, but that's fucking stupid,” Ruby huffed and Regina couldn't help but chuckle. It was the first time Ruby had referred to her as  **her** queen.

“Indeed Miss Lucas, indeed… so as we're speaking about the idiots… Do you care to explain what happened at the diner?“

“Oh well, just the ordinary… Snow came inside and had some stupid speech about Hook and Emma prepared,“ Ruby said with a eye roll. “But I found out Granny isn't loyal to Snow anymore, so something good came out of that I guess.”

******   
  
David heard the clamor of screaming people while he sat at the station. He wondered what was going on and decided to check it out.

He barely got the door to the diner open though, before he almost stumbled into a flock of running people. David frowned and wondered what was actually going on.

He headed over to Granny, hoping the old woman could give him some answers.   
  
"Mrs. Lucas?" the sheriff asked as he entered the diner. It looked like a war zone with tables turned upside down and there were obvious scratch marks on the floor. What the hell?   
  
"Oh David, I guess you heard the people huh?" the old lady chuckled and poured him some coffee, clearly ignoring that her diner looked like it did.    
  
"That I did. Care to tell me what happened?" he asked as he sipped on his warm coffee.   
  
"Well, your wife is on some stupid warpath and came inside here, talking about how Regina had put Emma under some spell to make her fall in love with her and Ruby got as fed as up as I did, so the wolf took care of it, so to speak."   
  
"I'm sorry for my wife's behavior," David sighed. "And I have tried to talk to her about Emma but she doesn't listen. She just doesn't listen…"

******   
  
A sudden knock on the door made Regina and Ruby run out of the kitchen and out to the hall where Henry and Emma still stood. The savior looked close to crying, so Regina nodded at Ruby who quickly walked up to them and was ready to protect Emma if needed.

Regina took a deep breath before she opened the door and was quite surprised when she saw Granny on her door step with a big smirk, accompanied by the sheriff.   
  
"Dad?" Emma frowned and snapped out of her fear. Without thinking, Regina pecked the blonde's lips.

“We'll be just in the kitchen, dear, if you need us,” Regina said as they left the savior alone with her father.

*****   
  
"Emma, has Killian been hurting you?" he asked and Emma nodded her reply. “My God dear, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?“ he asked and pulled his daughter into a hug, but Emma quickly pushed him away.   
  
"Well I guess. Kinda. Wait. Are you also in on this…?” Emma frowned and tugged on her underlip. David shook his head and offered her a timid smile.    
  
"Of course not baby, I just want you to be happy. And if you're happy with Regina instead of Hook, then I support you completely."   
  
Granny, Ruby and Regina were eavesdropping on the two, while Henry had walked in to the living room. The three of them couldn't help but smile as they heard them talk.    
  
"I never thought I would say this, but… David seems okay," Ruby shrugged, and Regina was even unable to speak.    
  
"Yeah he has always just wanted his daughter to be happy. And I don't actually think he ever liked Hook. Unfortunately his wife is the one to decide things…" Granny sighed.

Emma’s eyes welled up with tears after hearing those words and she gave him a tight hug.    
  
"But I thinks it's for the best if you all leave town for a while, at least until I can calm down your mother right?" David smiled and Emma looked over to Regina who met her eyes. David smiled at her and the Queen still didn't exactly know what to say.   
  
"Dad says he supports us," Emma said and took Regina's hand in hers.   
  
"You do?" she managed to say, almost feeling a bit shocked.

  
"I do, because life here is different compared to the lives we had in the enchanted forest. So here I don't care at all, about what some fairydust says.

If my daughter wants to be with another person than her husband, then so be it. I think that's called, a divorce huh?“

And I don't care if her choice is a woman. She has chosen and I don’t care that it's you Regina. The only thing I have always cared about and will always care about is that she is happy."   
  
"And you have my word David that the only thing I want, is to keep Emma happy and keep her safe," the Queen replied with a gentle smile and the Sheriff took off his hat and bowed to her.    
  
"Good. Then I'm pleased, my Queen," David chuckled, when he suddenly heard Snow's voice behind them. 

  
"Go! Leave!" he added and Regina nodded and grabbed Emma. She ran up to Henry, Granny and Ruby and with a wave of her hand, they all disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke.


	10. You can now kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final chapter!

The Queen teleported the lot of them to her vault. She didn't know where else they could go and sighed and sunk down on the floor. This wasn't her intention, to start a war just because she loved Emma.   
  
"Regina are you okay?" Emma asked carefully and reached for her Queen's hand. The tired woman shrugged and Emma pulled her into a close hug.   
  
"So what are we gonna do? If you ask me, I'm in the mood for hunting some stupid dwarfs," Ruby grinned and Granny raised her crossbow in agreement. Henry just sat in silence and watched them all.   
  
"What's the point?" Regina frowned and stood up. "They will never let us be together, Emma. It's pointless."

*****   
  
"Hey, look at me," the saviour said and Regina met her eyes. "I love you and we belong together. I will do anything to make sure that happens. Even if that means stabbing my own mom with a sword!"

Regina's eyes widened and she waved with her hand, making Granny, Ruby and Henry freeze for a moment. She didn't want them to hear this conversation.   
  
"Emma that isnt who you are!" the Queen snapped. "You're the saviour, the white Knight and I'm the darkness that everyone despises. And if I walk up there I'm gonna get killed. And I don't want to risk Henry and you getting hurt because of me."

******   
  
"I've made my choice now Regina. I'm not their stupid saviour anymore, I'm yours. And this bullshit about me being the white Knight? Come on! I have darkness in my soul as well as those idiots out there! My mom included!"   
  
Emma started to pace back and forth in the vault, feeling Regina's eyes on her. This whole mess was her fault.

Everything was her fault! Not Regina's..

If she had been brave enough from the beginning and turned Hook down and followed her heart instead, none of this chaos would be ensuing.

Sadly, Regina blamed herself for all this.

*****   
  
"What the hell Charming! Why did you let them go!" Snow growled and walked up to her husband who had been left in the purple smoke.    
  
"Because our daughter is happy with her, Snow, and she wants to be with Regina instead of Hook and that's her own decision! Not ours," Charming shot back as Hook suddenly walked up to them. Emma's father just snapped, pushing the pirate backwards, and making everyone around them gasp.   
  
"David, hey, calm down! I'm on your side mate!" Hook said as the Sheriff reached for his gun and pointed it straight to his face.   
  
"I know what terrible things you have done to my daughter and I could easily kill you, right here. Right now!"   
  
"Calm down mate, just…"   
  
"Not one more word," David warned and cut off Hook.

"Charming what are you doing?!" Snow snapped and David had his finger on the trigger.   
  
"I'm making sure this asshole isn't getting near our daughter ever again," he growled.   
  


*******

"Emma, I should just… It would be so much easier if I wasn't here. If I just was dead," Regina said with tears in her eyes and the blonde frowned. Where was all this coming from? Regina looked so broken and afraid.   
  
"I won't let anyone hurt you Regina," Emma said carefully and walked closer the Queen. "I'm gonna protect you, okay?"   
  
"With what? You don't have any magic anymore since Hook forced you to give it up and you don't have your gun either. So what are you gonna fight with? Your hands? Please be realistic Miss Swan."   
  
Without another word, Regina teleported them back to the mansion. Ruby transformed to a wolf immediately and Granny held her crossbow ready. Ruby growled, which made Snow and the crowd take a big step backwards.

*****   
  
"There she is!" Grumpy shouted and pointed at the Queen. She had made sure she was standing a bit for herself and Emma knew it was on purpose. The Saviour held Henry with shaking hands and watched as her mother took up her bow and aimed it against Regina.

Neither Granny and Ruby were close enough to do anything.    
  
"Now it ends Regina" Snow snarled and shot an arrow that hit Regina straight in the heart.   
  
"Noooo!" Emma screamed and ran over to the Queen. She held her in her arms and started to cry.   
  
"Regina… no. Don't leave me… I need you.. I love you! I have chosen you instead," Emma whispered and placed a kiss on Regina's forehead, and suddenly everything became white.

*****   
  
Emma blinked her eyes open and suddenly realized she was wearing her wedding dress, but instead of having Hook standing there with her by the altar, it was Regina. The Saviour couldn't believe her eyes. How had this happened? What had even happened?

Or was she dreaming?    
  
Then she felt the magic swirl in her body and fingers and suddenly she felt Regina slide a ring on her finger as Archie pronounced them married. The crowd cheered and Hook was nowhere to found.

_ I have to be dreaming…  _ Emma thought to herself. 

Regina then grabbed her wife's hand and met the saviour’s eyes. Emma was still clueless. 

  
"You may now kiss the bride," Archie said and Regina leaned in and pressed her lips gently to Emma's and the saviour once again felt the magic inside her, tingling in her fingertips.

****   
  
As the married couple sat down by the table to eat, Regina smiled at her.   
  
"I don't understand what is happening. The last thing I remembered was you dying in my arms? Or was that a dream?" Emma frowned. "I'm so fucking confused right now.."   
  
"Oh my dear,” Regina chuckled. ”You made the right choice Emma. And your magic returned when you kissed me. It's quite hard to explain," Regina purred and pulled her saviour closer, lowering her voice so just the two of them heard her words.   
  
"Hook isn't in even the picture anymore. You altered the past. It's like he never even existed."   
  
Emma almost gasped. Had she gotten her magic back? The savour grinned and pulled her Queen, her wife, into a deep kiss.

*****

Later that night, after the wedding was over, Regina and Emma were sitting on the back porch at the mansion, and the savior’s face was almost hurting from smiling so much.

“I can't believe this is actually happening…“ the blonde said as she looked at the rings on hers and Regina's fingers. “I still think I'm dreaming.. “

“But you're not my dear,” the Queen chuckled as they suddenly heard Ruby, Zelena and Henry come to them and were singing like crazy. The wolf opened a champagne bottle and both Regina and Emma both broke out in laughter.

Henry sat down between his mother's and Emma couldn't help but ruffle his hair. 

"Now, this is a real fairytale ending,” Henry grinned as the two married women locked eyes.

“Indeed Henry, indeed,” Regina said. “I'm very happy she chose me instead.”   
  


“Me too,” Emma said and pressed her lips against her queen’s. 

**  
The End!**

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, please leave a comment! :)


End file.
